Single Again… The Trifecta In Relationships

By Kenneth Stepp

I grew up in a state that had 3 horse racing tracks in it. Other than Christmas day, one was always open. The highlight of the day was the Trifecta. This morning I wanted to write so I asked a friend to send me 3 ideas and I could choose one and write about it. I found inspiration in all three so here we go. There are four traits I will talk about here. I will add one at the end.

Hope: The opposite of hopeless. I see a lot of quotes about hope but believe hopelessness is a plague in the singles community. Whether you are widowed, divorced, or something else. You wake up alone in a bed that was once both of yours. It was a sanctuary, a sacred place for quiet conversation between just you too. I had that and most of my friends did as well.

Hope comes out of faith. Faith in a kind and loving God, a universe that cares, or whatever you find faith in. Faith is so important. Faith that you are worth loving again. Faith that you can in fact love again. Faith that destiny or fate will place you in the right place at the right time. Faith that your path is lit by a light that only you can see.

Courage: I didn’t expect this word to be here at all. After thinking on it for a while I do get it. I’m from Kentucky so I may have pondered on it instead of thought on it. I’ve heard it both ways (great spot for a smiley face). You see, faith without works has no value. So you can have faith something will bring it to you, but unless you accept or offer that friend request, reach out, go places, and become a bit sociable you will stay forever in your spot.

Forgiveness: This one I did expect to see. Forgiveness comes in so many forms and situations and I’m going to put my own spin on it here. And with a story like the writer in me seems compelled to do. I met a girl once I was very interested in. We spoke constantly. We went out a few times and one day I asked her to meet me for coffee near her office. 

She was bitter at her ex and decided all men were the same. I told her I didn’t think we had a future. She asked why. Well, if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive him then try forgiving me for the things he did to you. Until you can stop making me or any other men pay for what he did then there is no future. Not with me or anyone else. Forgiveness is the foundation for every relationship. Business, friendship, or marriage.

Loyalty: I feel the need to add this one to this important list. Without loyalty you have no real relationship of any kind can stand without it. You can love, like, lust or anything you desire with someone. But if there is no loyalty then there is no relationship. Everyone disloyal will be temporary. Everyone loyal has a great chance of remaining in your life and you in theirs. 

Over ten years ago I started writing. It’s my therapy. I began writing because I was newly single and got hurt right out of the gate. I wasn’t ready for forever but my heart disagreed. She is married today and living her dream. We remain friends to this day. Loyalty has a lot to do with that. Since then I’ve written 2 books on being single and relationships, I’ve written a relationship column for over ten years, and interviewed about 300 singles. To what end? I have far more questions today than I ever did.

My advice: LIVE! Be brave, let your guard down (good and bad can enter), never let fear interrupt faith, hope, if you can see yourself doing something, try it, and if you are ever fortunate enough to have friends like mine and someone special, be loyal. If a storm came and washed away the life you had, you get to choose the life that is rebuilt. Only this time with a lot of life lessons.

1 Comment

  1. My first article I am ready from you. POWERFUL! I can relate to them all! I have Hope in my future, I am strong in my Faith because I have the Courage to believe in God, myself and others. I have learned to forgive, but not forget. Loyalty is soooo important in order to Live a good life.

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