Single Again… Little Things

By Kenneth Stepp

Like most of you in the singleverse, “It’s The Little Things”  is a line we hear often but seldom do a deep dive in. I did that yesterday. When I look behind me the little things are what my memories are made of. I spent most of my life working. Yet the memories I treasure so much have nothing to do with the work I did.

I remember a first date that changed my life. The date lasted several hours and cost me about $100.00. The big things were the time I spent earning that money and the job that afforded me the opportunity to have those hours with her. The little things were meeting her and the memory of that date. I’ll try to unwrap this a little better.

My point is that the things we spend the most of our time doing aren’t what makes the memories that color our lives and bring us so much joy. The big thing was the job because it took more of my life than the little things that gave so much of my life to me. When I see someone building an empire now, I am sad for them. I am a recovering empire builder. There should be a recovery group for us.

I remember setting huge goals when I was younger. I slaughtered those goals. If I aspired to achieve something, I made it happen. I remember setting a goal of making $1000.00 per day. I had just opened a business by myself and my friends thought that was ridiculous. But within 6 months that amount was a bad day. Goals are important provided you understand what is important. I did not.

2007 Was the first year I made over one million dollars. I owned commercial properties, 3 homes, and 5 businesses. You see, I knew how to set a goal and hit it. What I didn’t know is that none of that was important. Love people, use things. When your goals are based on things and stuff, you will eventually love things and use people. I had to learn what was important.

Then came the theft… I had plenty of things and stuff and from the outside my life looked amazing I’m sure. Some employees were on drugs and I lost everything I owned due to a seven figure theft. The story is longer than that but that’s it in a nutshell. I lost a big part of me too. Social standing, reputation, and my desire to live. All this over big things. 

Eventually I lost my marriage and one day I realized how much I hated the things I once loved. Money and things. It took years for me to understand what is important and what doesn’t matter. You see, I had everything I thought would make me happy. I worked for years to have all these things that today I no longer have. Those goals in hindsight were never important. They were ego driven. Accolades from others drove me. 

Flash forward to the me you see today. I’m happy for the most part. I care very little about what people think of me. My goals today are peace, loving others, and making a positive difference in someone’s life. I understand what is important and what isn’t. I do have plans and goals. To me they are just as attainable as the goals I hit when I was younger. Only now I know who to love and what to use. And the memories I hold dearest are of people and not stuff. And anytime I want to dream a beautiful dream, I can dream about that first date with her. It was a little thing that forever changed who I am.