By Lindy Earl
A friend and I were joking about bad dates. Yes, joking about bad dates is not only possible, I’ve found it’s the best way to deal with them. In fact, while in the middle of a bad date, I can assure myself that I will be able to laugh about it soon – some sooner than others. One of the few joys of on-line dating is sharing the horror stories after the fact, as long as you can put a funny spin on it. My joy is making my friends laugh. Recently I was lying on a doctor’s table while painful things were being done to me – but I got to thinking, how lucky am I to endure this pain AND get to pay for it! That’s putting a fun spin on a bad situation.
So, he was joking about some bad dates, and I responded as if he were talking about the fruit. You know, the stuff that is rarely eaten in the US but is a staple in the middle east. We actually grow dates in California and other warm climates. They aren’t a very attractive fruit, which brings me to point one.
Even if your date isn’t the most attractive, that doesn’t mean it is lacking other, wonderful characteristics. For instance, your date is probably wonderfully sweet inside. Truly worth enjoying, if not for the looks, then for the sweet attributes it offers.
Dates, like people, take a while to mature. A Date Tree can take eight years to produce fruit at all, and ten years to produce a viable harvest. Well, in life, people have to mature and may have to re-mature. I have seen some people make post-divorce relationships All About Them. Yep, they were hurt in their marriage, so they are going to get what they can from future relationships. I think, in time, people do mature and seek real, viable relationships, not just one where they can take what they want. So we need to wait for our Dates to mature.
Harvesting Dates is a laborious process. They grow in 75’ Palm Trees and have to be carefully lowered, then picked and sorted. Yes, getting your Date will take a lot of effort! Are you ready? Just finding where your Date hangs out may be hard, but then it could take some sorting to find a Date you want to consider. You need to plan your process, execute it, be careful during it, all to realize the joy of your Date.
Dates need to be handled very gently. You don’t want to treat a Date harshly. You might squeeze it too hard, thus damaging it. You need to be careful from the beginning, lest you cause injury to your Date, your sweet Date.
Once you have it, you need to treat it well. Don’t just leave your Date sitting there! Decide what you want to do with your Date, and take care of it, the way you would like to be treated.
A Date can’t be ignored. Even if you did take care of your Date at first, you cannot just ignore it, or it will go bad. It will shrivel up and die. It may even leave an unpleasant odor behind. No, you can’t just leave a Date, trusting that it will be fine when you eventually return to it. Dates need continual attention.
If you decide that, after finding your Date, you prefer another fruit, never ever considering abandoning your Date. Remember, the Date is still sweet inside, and you don’t want to bruise your Date because, I promise you, somebody else out there is interested in your Date. Just admit, kindly and gently, that this isn’t the Date for you. The Date will then have the opportunity to be pursued by those who are looking for a fresh, sweet Date.
If you decide that Dates are perfect for you, then enjoy, until you find your one, perfect Date. Then be careful to follow the same behavior and treat that Date well, for the rest of your time together.
That’s Life After Divorce.
Lindy is a Speaker, Columnist, Author, and Consultant. Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com or find her on Face Book.