Single Again… The Artist

By Kenneth Stepp

I love art. That’s such a true statement about me. I feel art. I get along well with artists. They are my people. So how did I never come to know that what was missing was an artist? And why am I writing about this today. Well, it was a song that sparked these thoughts in my mind and those thoughts hit a bullseye on my heart. Kenny Rogers, You Decorated My Life came on my truck radio. And it began….

You see, 11 months ago today, I met an artist. Prior to that day I led a life that I laughingly call, my right foot left foot days. If you’ve ever watched Groundhog Day starring Bill Murry, you can understand how life was for me. Every day was the same, no new experiences, no new thoughts, no new anything. Each day was a blank canvas that stayed that way for the day that would follow.

All my life was a paper

Once plain, pure and white

Till you moved with your pen, changin’ moods now and then

Till the balance was right

Then you added some music

Every note was in place

And anybody could see all the changes in me by the look on my face

On May 17th 2020, art entered my life. As she walked in she surveyed the room my life lived in. She stared at the white space, the nothingness, the silence. I believe she smiled. I was such a challenge. My life was a mess. I was a mess. The bags I had packed, falling alone, and allowing too many dirty hands to handle my empathic heart. But there she was, pen and brush in hand. I feel undeserving every time I think of that day.

Like a rhyme with no reason

In an unfinished song

There was no harmony, life meant nothin’ to me until you came along

And you brought out the colors

What a gentle surprise

Now I’m able to see all the things life can be, shinin’ soft in your eyes

What my readers, friends, and even family could not have known was that my life had become more of a burden than a joy. It wasn’t my first time there. I retreat into myself while putting up a good online front when I am in that place. I had become adept at creating an image of a happy person while dying inside. I know a few souls that do the same thing. We aren’t fake people. But at times the person you think you know is a happy replica of the hurting person hiding behind inspirational quote and funny meme. 

And you decorated my life

Created a world

Where dreams are a part

And you decorated my life

By paintin’ your love

All over my heart

You decorated my life

I’m using the lyrics to Mr Rogers’ song because my words could never compare to his. Today my heart is full of brilliant colorful joy. My room has very little canvas showing now, less every day. As I watch the stroke of the brush cover another blank space, I think back on the days when it was all bright white. Nothingness was not my path. It was where I sat every day. I’m so thankful the artist didn’t run, that she accepted the challenge and stayed. 

Take 3 minutes and 39 seconds and enjoy the song and the beautiful words.