Single Again… The Art Of Great Choices

By Kenneth Stepp

I’m an artist. I was asked what makes something art. I replied that art makes you feel something. I’ve spoken with too many of my readers when they were crying after reading something I wrote. My writing, at times, is in fact, art. 

So how can choices be art? You may think it’s a leap to call a choice art, but our choices make us feel something. Some choices cause us to feel very deeply. Choices are art. My words create stories. A painter creates stories in their paint. Choices create life. Your choices create your life. Your life is a story, a painting, and a part of the world around you.

My own choices follow me wherever I go. They create the life I live every day. One example is my January’s. I write restaurant reviews for an online media company. I love food. I love trying new foods, eateries, and dives. Because I do, every January I use to do the Adkins Diet. It kept my weight in check every year. In January 2020, it stopped working. I needed an alternative.

I began watching videos, reading, researching and settled on something that seemed right for me. In 5 weeks working the system, it worked. I was down 26 pounds. Today I am down 55 pounds and have discovered a lifestyle that is fun to eat and healthy for me going forward. You see: It was time I found something to carry me into a more mature lifestyle. 

I have shared this philosophy with some close friends who have decided to go on this journey with me. I had to choose health, choose to look better, choose to feel better. I joined a gym again and began training. Those close to me 2 years ago barely know me now. I have one life to live and I am choosing a healthy vibrant one. 

I doubt I need to explain how choices matter when we are single. Decisions are abundant. I get asked for advice a lot. My advice is tainted with the fact that I have failed 100% of the time. But I have learned from my experiences. My advice when asked how to find forever love. Set your standards and your standards will find you.

I think I need to explain what that means. Let’s say you have 5 irreducible minimums. Those are things or traits you will never live without in a life partner. These could be religion, political, family traits, health traits, world views, even physical features. They can be anything as long as you will never live without them. If you allow anyone in your life that doesn’t meet these 5 things. Two things you should remember. You can’t change them and if you let them in, you are just having temporary fun.

Choices made the life you live today. Is it the life you want 10 years from now? This is the type of question I ask myself. If the answer is no. I know I need to “choice” myself out of the life I am living. If the answer is yes, I double down. I wait for that thing to happen to the NOW me. I wait for the person that sees the NOW me to see me. You see, I choose my way to who I am and I am transparent in life so that others see the real me. The NOW me. Choosing my standards and being myself in the process will take me to the life I want. 

Find yourself, know who you are, and know that who you are is so valuable to someone searching for you. You be you. Decide who you are, who you will be, who you want in your life. In the end, one of two things will happen. Either you will be a better person, one you can be proud of alone. Or you will find that special person who feels as if they were created just for you. Both are great choices. 

“She had blue skin
And so did he
He kept it hid
And so did she
They searched for blue
Their whole life through
Then passed right by-
And never knew”

Shel Silverstein