By Kenneth Stepp
Memories are amazing. They incite feelings, some good, some bad, and some confusing and maybe a little hurtful. I was just speaking with one of my best friends and a person I consider my confidant. I basically tell her everything. She was speaking of a cheap date scenario and we were throwing ideas back and forth. The memories that I mentioned here came like an invading army of emotions. I remembered…
What most of my readers know is that at one point in time, for two decades, when I was married, I had wealth. I started a small business that in just a few years, became a $30 million dollar a year monster. Back then, whatever we desired, we had. We bought a house in a middle class community because that’s the way we wanted to raise our kids. Not privileged, but working class, as that was both of our roots.
I remember having company cars and enjoying driving whatever we felt like driving. I always bought my wife a personal vehicle, that was always a Chevrolet Suburban, they were roomy and safe for my family to enjoy, so as the protector provider, I kept them in a tank. I still drive the last one I bought for my wife. It was 15 years ago, the thought of getting rid of it it or replacing it breaks my heart, with 340k miles on it, I am logical enough to know that day is coming. I just keep putting it off.
It was either late Summer or early fall. My wife told me a movie she had been wanting to see was out on DVD and she was thinking about buying it, Miracle, it was about the 1980 Olympic hockey team that won gold. It sounded awesome to me and she was excited about it. I knew she had a full day and was working on Scout stuff with my daughter’s troop, I went to the office as usual. That day was unplanned, and things were already in motion for that evening. I just had no clue till I arrived at my office.
A two year old Ford Excursion had been acquired the night before. I went out to check it out. It was beautiful, freshly cleaned and had a wide screen tv in it. I was struck with an idea. Having it all came with having to come up with creative ideas to surprise my bride, romance is a flame that always needs and deserves to be fanned often. I fired up my new ride and headed to the video store. Tonight would be different than most.
I paid for the movie my wife spoke about and headed to the local Pizza Hut, a friend of mine was the manager there. We conspired a plan. As the day moved on, I spent most of it on the road, I had several meetings and had two major deals to seal before calling it a day. I called my pastor to tell him of my plan, mostly because I would be involving church property to execute my plan the way I wanted to.
I called my bride, don’t make dinner, we’re going out tonight. We had a live in maid/nanny, so impromptu worked for us. I came in, loved on the kids for a moment, collected my date, and off we went. As I pulled into our church parking lot, which was huge by the way, she asked, what are you up to? I backed in under some trees, it was perfect weather to open the doors, and perfect timing too. I opened all the doors for a great breeze, it was at that moment that my friend from Pizza hut pulled up beside us. I tipped him, brought the pizza inside, we were already in the back, I hit play, opened the pizza box, dinner and a movie, she was thrilled.
Remembering thing like these is both sweet and painful. Where did we go wrong? How could such a powerful flame go out? The answers just don’t exist, only reality does. I am alone and so is she. Is alone better for us? I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has fond memories of something so right going wrong. I hear stories often. Love was there, why wasn’t it enough? Like I said, answers will never come. To my single friends, I hope we all find happiness, to my married friends, try harder, if not, you could be like me, remembering with tears over what was…
“Little things add up to big things, if you forget that, there are no big things at all” – k stepp