By Kenneth Stepp
Today is a big day. Today I changed my tagline from single again to finally taken. Why? Because she said yes to a very important question. I have been single almost 8 ½ years. She and I became single the same month. Today is her birthday, she is now in the same decade as me. On her way out of the door I asked, what can I do for you today? Write me something beautiful. I question my ability but try I must. Her smile means everything to me.
On this coming Monday we will mark one year since we physically met. The day before that we will wed. We will be in a beautiful park and the weather suppose to be wonderful. A cloudless day filled with promise. I can’t wait. I’d like to think the rest of our time together would be like the weather that day but we all know that is unlikely. When two become one, there is always strife, accidents, sickness, and of course, pain.
We have spent more time together than any couple I know of. Our days can be full of adventure, treasure hunting, or just sitting on the sofa breathing the same air. The joy of togetherness is enough. Where or how we are together never really seems to matter. When I first met her my first thought was that she must be putting up a front. No one is this sweet. Over time I found that she had no need to show anyone any version of herself. The real her was amazing.
As she walked out the door to go to work this morning I felt for just one second how it would feel to lose her. It was brief but powerful. We have this thing we do when she’s walking out the door. I put my arms around her from behind, resting on her shoulders. I’m sure it looks like I’m about to choke her out. In fact it’s just me getting as close as I can. I tell her to drive safe and to let me know when she gets to work. The last thing I say is I love you baby.
When I think back on my own singles journey and see where I wound up, I weep. I have loved but not been a match, I have been told I was loved but not shown it. I have been incomplete for years. Today I am whole again. Today I am with my match, I am loved in a way I struggle to put into words, and today I love someone with every fiber of my being. My thoughts even love her. To be honest, it can be scary. You see, although I have found more than I ever thought possible. I stand to lose more too.
Today I ponder standing with her in front of a man in a black robe wearing a white collar. In just 3 days that will be a reality for us. I believe my thoughts will be thankful ones. I believe I lived through the 7 ½ years prior to meeting her to prepare me for her. I go back a read things I’ve written over the years and they sound like they were written either to her or about her. I wrote many times these words, “I know so much about you, I just don’t know your name”. She is that girl. My words were about her years before we met.
The words I wrote spoke of character, integrity, a strength that amazes me, and a survivor. She is all these things and so much more. Today her name is not a mystery to me anymore. She is Rhonda. On Sunday I will change her last name. Although we have been on a beautiful journey for the past year, we will begin a new journey in 3 days. We will pledge our lives to one another. My pledge will be so easy to give. You see, she is my life. With her I am part of a beautiful piece of art. Alone I am no more than a crumpled piece of paper in search of a garbage can.
I think back on what could have been. I came so close to pledging my life before. For whatever reason that didn’t work out it led me here. Like the map at Disney world that says, You Are Here. Here is where I will always be. I love this girl and can’t wait to begin our forever life together. Our lives will never be the same. Our past brought us here. The days we spent lost in darkness are in the past.
Since we are 4 days shy of meeting a year ago this is the first birthday of hers I have had the pleasure of being a part of. I look forward to many more. Have you ever been with someone you never got tired of? I’ve always wanted my space in the past. Now I want all my space to have her in it. I say that time is a great healer to my friends when they are hurting. I find now that not only does it heal, it can also bring great gifts. She is my gift, it’s my birthday every day.
“Write me something beautiful”, she said. All I have to do is write about her. She is the beauty in my life. She is all the light my dark heart needed. She is forever all I could ever want. Happy birthday baby.
This song below hits it home for me. Follow the words. They are beautiful like her.