By Kenneth stepp
I live inside the walls of my house, walls keep us safe, hidden, and apart from those we want to keep away from us. But walls are usually meant to protect what is inside them, of course by default, they keep everyone out, both the good and the bad. Today, my walls are so high, no one could climb them at all. I never dreamed I’d have walls, now I find myself behind some very high ones.
“Her heart was a secret garden and the walls were very high.”
― William Goldman
Being single in such an unforgiving, self absorbed, uncaring world that the sea of singles has evolved into, is hard. Being single isn’t difficult if you just want to find others to be intimate with, or hang out with. But if, we look for forever in the eyes of another, it’s almost unbearable. Being single at an age I never thought I’d be is not fun at all. But there are fun moments that keep me motivated and moving forward.
“Even paradise could become a prison if one had enough time to take notice of the walls.”
― Morgan Rhodes
Noticing the walls was a surprise. I really never thought I’d have them. Then one day, after lies, betrayals, and unkept promises, here I am. I am, as they say, walled up. Walls have a purpose. Perhaps even more than one. Protection is the purpose mine arrived on the scene for. To protect a heart that has had too many battles, too many losses, and too many disappointments. My walls are needed for a time. How long? No one knows.
“Sometimes our walls exist just to see who has the strength to knock
them down.”
― Darnell Lamont Walker
I have made so many wonderful friends along the way, their stories are all interesting, some comedic, some loving, and some awful. We endure the experiences because we have an end goal. To find our needle in a haystack, our one, forever love. Will I find mine? Not today. I cannot see past these walls. Right now, my heart is in a protective bubble till it heals, till it’s ready again. Today won’t be my day. All my tomorrows hold precious hope. Hope is all we have now. They say that hope springs eternal. I believe hope is a gift from God himself.
“I told him I had once lost everything I had, too, and that I think that can be God’s way of building walls around us to force us to look up at Him.” ― Kimberly Novosel
Finding contentment behind my walls has been a struggle. As an alpha male, provider, protector, I feel I should be out hunting and gathering. As a broken man that doesn’t feel whole or very strong at the moment, I am trying to understand my walls. They are colorful and artfully made because my mind created them and my mind works that way. The wall I face has a door, that door will lead me somewhere new or to someone new. I guess the question of the day is, when will I use that door?
“Every wall that would entrap me has a door that would free me. And I languish because the fear of freedom often leaves me preferring the familiarity of the wall.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough
To my friends, readers, and those who follow my journey. Thank you, please walk carefully, know that someone cares about you, and you are loved…
#iambehindthatdoor
