By Kenneth Stepp
In the singles community today, it’s easy, in fact even common to become jaded. Cynicism runs high on this journey. I have, for the most part, escaped it for myself. Not because I’m better at anything than anyone else. The reason is that I’m aware of it. Many singles today have lost the ability to have self awareness. When this happens, they paint people with a broad brush. Unfairly for the most part.
So what does this look like? A few months back I met a girl online. We chatted back and forth for a while. Then she said, men who are built like me are all players. Honestly, I was shocked. I knew two things at that point. I no longer wanted to know this person and she should stay single. Two days later she apologized but any desire to learn more about her from me was gone.
I am guilty of doing this to some degree myself. I often say that men are broken today. Most have lost sight of what a man is. We are protectors, we are providers, we are warriors ready to fight for what is ours, we are partners, lovers, and caretakers. I’ll say not all men are broken, just most. Many believe their role is to enjoy every woman they can.
Many people are damaged. To be honest, I believe we all might be. Trying to find forever love for me has been a painful path to say the least. It’s easy to misunderstand another person’s actions. An example of this is my social media. I have a lot of readers who are female, they comment, I’m always nice. To some it looks like flirting, to me, it’s being a gentleman.
I use myself in these cases to keep other people out of my stories. I do know people who use the broad brush on others. I fight it myself. Maybe we all do. And we all should. We are all individuals. The sociopathy that is so prevalent in the singles community wasn’t there 25 years ago. Basic human nature dictates we change because of our surroundings. But we all change differently. That makes us all different.
There are empaths. I am one. When someone is hurting or needs help, I want to see if I can do anything for them. I tend to care about almost anyone quickly and with depth. Even that can be mistaken for flirting, crushing, or chasing. Why can’t it just be what it is? There are people/men who are still protectors. I am the youngest of 3 boys. Our father instilled in all of us a sense of duty. Without this I am not sure where I’d be.
So, are men broken today? Some are. Some aren’t. Women are too. We all have the capacity to crawl inside our bubble and see everyone the same. Bitterness will always follow. And bitterness looks ugly on anyone. For me, I will continue being myself. My actions are innocent for the most part and sometimes misunderstood. I’ll live with that as long as I live my life the way my dad taught me.
We’ve all had the broad brush used on us and we’ve probably used it on others. Both are true for me. Not all redheads have a temper, not all blonds are dullards. You see, stereotypes serve no purpose. If someone seems nice, maybe they are, and are not playing you. My point… Give people the benefit of the doubt. Love could be in front of you. Don’t run it off because of your past.
