By Kenneth Stepp
Let me just say this first. We are all becoming someone we are not at this moment. People evolve. And what they become depends on several factors. Our upbringing, our level of integrity, and what life experiences we have had. There are more but these are what I’ll talk about today.
My parents were partners in raising 3 headstrong boys. I was the youngest. My father was a manly man, he boxed in the Navy, he rode a Harley with some pretty tough men, and he was the kindest most gentle man I’ve ever known. All man and all gentleman at the same time.
My mom is the matriarch of our family. She’s very smart, strong, and to this day still prays for her three sons. She’s a tower of strength and loves us unconditionally. Between her and my dad, they managed to raise 3 boys with many of their traits. We were lucky to have the parents we had. I look at parenting today and feel sorry for the generation to come.
Our level of integrity is the next building block to who we become. How we are raised has a lot to do with what we see as right and wrong. Hang in there with me, I will make my point soon. You see, we all see the world through many filters. What we were taught when we were young, what others have done to us or for us, and our basic interactions with everyone in our world.
Our life experiences, what happened to us along the way and how we mingle with those around us will determine who we become as well. Digging a little deeper, I’m single and being single and trying to navigate all that entails is confusing and at times even hurtful. I’ve had some great times and met some amazing humans along the way. But confusion is a real thing.
We’re all damaged and are in some level of healing. Everyone we meet has these things in common with us. Remembering this keeps me from judging them. I can only hope they are this way with me. Grace is needed in the singles community. If a girl was divorced because her husband cheated and then dated someone who cheated on her too, her reaction to things in the next relationship may be different than another girl who has never been cheated on.
You see, life experiences and how we react to them matter. They form our opinions about what happens to us next. My wife and I were both faithful. I’ve had faithful since becoming single. So worrying about someone being faithful to me doesn’t even enter my mind. If you’ve been cheated on several times, the filter you see things with will be different from mine.
I guess in the end, the point I promised to make earlier is this. Lead with grace. Everyone is so so different. We are all out here trying to make sense of life and hoping for a better future than the present we now live in. I’d even bet that our end goals look very much alike. We live in a sea of singles and all of us have scars. Be kinder, judge less, and offer grace as much as you can.
You are becoming right now, become something beautiful.
“Beauty without grace is just a hook without the bait” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
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