By Kenneth Stepp
The Echo… Strange title. I will try to explain the thoughts that bounce around my damaged brain. This morning they are about a house. When you move into a new house after divorce or the loss of a partner, it has an echo when you talk. The walls are far from one another with nothing in between. Thus, an echo.
I noticed this just this year. The sound woke me to this thought. Our lives and hearts are this way too. After my divorce, my life and heart were so empty. It affected my relationship with my kids and our old friends. I was suddenly alone in a world I no longer belonged in nor did I understand it.
The echo happened. It was subtle but always there. My heart would speak of loneliness, lost love, and despair but my heart was empty and all those things it spoke of reverberated back and forth. They landed on nothing because my life was like an empty room.
Next month will mark my 8th year since that became my reality. I had every emotion a human can have when after 24 years and two kids, we were no more. Fear, confusion, survival mode, loneliness, and maybe a hint of excitement. And at times, all of these in the same moments.
Today life in that home I spoke of, it is so different. Estate sales and thrift stores has filled it with love, passion, and warmth. Today there is no echo there. We speak and the items that fill it enjoys the sound of our words. There is love here, joy, and memories from many adventures.
My heart is in that place now. Over the 8 years of singleness, I have replaced the empty space in my heart with people. Souls who absorb my words, who care and I care for. There is love so deep and communion of creation that can only come to an open heart. The echo is gone. I have lost pieces of my heart but the holes they left are filled in with golden hearts, love, and peace.
I call those I have met along the way my mosaic. They paint the colors and creatures on the canvas of my life. For us, the echo was replaced with substance. We become more solid when we stand together. I have what I call my tribe. Four people I’d do anything for. We laugh and love together. We are in all things together.
I cannot see a scenario in which the echo could ever return. My life has become so full of people I love and they fill my world. I replaced the loneliness with loving others, the confusion with drive lanes directed by my people, and the fear with the faith that someone is just a call, text, or message away.
To be loved, love others. To be cared for, care for others. To have a great friend, be a great friend. Life’s simple formula. If you still have an echo in your heart or are new to being alone, go friend shopping. You will find some amazing people to fill the empty walls inside. The echo will be replaced with joy and peace, the unknown with the known. Love foolishly my friends.
