Single Again… Seeing The Future After Divorce

By Kenneth Stepp

Nostradamus had nothing on me. There, I said it. He wrote in riddles, I write in riddles, he had a unique way to focus, I have a unique way to focus. He spoke of the world in the future, I speak of my world in the future. I had no idea I could predict the future… But Here I am, in the future.

A little less than 8 ½ years ago I became single. The type of guy I am, I evaluated the landscape of singleness and discovered two things. I loved independent women and they all had lives. Knowing I would find my forever love I created a simple life. I collected nothing, I kept my life in a way that would easily blend with hers. I wrote about it often.

Why would I have chosen this path? Because I didn’t want to partner with a girl who needed a man. I wanted a girl who simply wanted me, not out of need but out of love. Yes, I wanted the whole package. I wanted mutual treasures. Respect, love, and loyalty for both of us. I wanted something I was no longer sure existed. Real love.

You see real love isn’t just love. When someone tells me they love me, I take note. It feels amazing. But when I hear that same person say that they love pizza in the same tone and with the same enthusiasm, I realize that her love is only bread deep. Not the treasure I seek at all. Although pizza is awesome, I would not protect it with my life in the way I would my forever love.

If my 8 plus years had been a game, the score was Pizza 6, Kenneth 0. All that began to change about 11 months ago. I met someone very special. She was different. Independent, smart, a warrior by all definitions. She was the sweetest person I had ever met. So sweet that at first I thought she couldn’t be real, no one is that sweet. But she was. And patient. I need a patient soul. The mess that I am doesn’t scare her and she knows how to be part of a team.

My dating career has been fun, hurtful, confusing, and exciting all at the same time. I have loved and lost, loved alone, been loved but wasn’t a match, and even been in love and she loved me back but we didn’t make sense. That all changed 11 months ago. I met a girl online 2 years prior to us actually meeting. A wonderful girl.

I was usually dating someone so she didn’t reach out to me and I didn’t reach out to her. We liked and loved one another’s posts online, commented in sweet ways, but never actually connected. I became single again and decided to stay that way for at least a year. I had taken a year away from dating 3 times in the past. Recentering for the most part.

After 2 months and 3 weeks I made the decision to message her online. I was nervous and a little in awe. She was beautiful and so kind. When I heard back from her I told her the one and only lie that I would ever tell her. She lived 125 miles away and I told her I was going to visit her town and would love to meet her. I was not driving that far unless I met her. Thus my lie. 

She said yes, I was excited and perhaps a little hopeful. I rang her doorbell. I will never forget when she walked up to the door to allow me into her new house. In an age of filters I expected she had used them on everything. To my delight, her pictures did not do her justice. The meeting turned into the entire day.

On the way home I began contacting those I had been speaking with and letting them know I would be pursuing another. I felt that would be the honorable thing to do. I didn’t even know she’d see me again, but heck, I was compelled to go for it. It turned out that the day before I met her, I was exposed to covid. I messaged her to give her the bad news. I said, quarantine like me. Her answer back…. Quarantine with me. That was 11 months ago, I’m still here. 

I really did predict the future. I know it because I am living it. I wanted to tell my story because it can be yours too. Know what you want and don’t allow less than that into your world. And if you have an online crush, do not discount it. Your future might be in all those clicks…