By Kenneth Stepp
He seemed perfect, sincere, and genuine. I’ve heard this many times. The truth is that they learn what works on women and just repeat them over and over again. Some get to it quickly while others are patient. I call what they do, the long con…
The best reflection of the long con, or the patient man was about 3 years ago. A dear friend of mine was going out with a man that I knew. I knew him as a player and warned her. They went out for a couple of months without becoming intimate and she informed me that I was wrong about him.
He had dated two other friends and I suspected the long con. I told my friend this. The next week he spent the night and they made love. The next day she received the text I feared was coming. He said, I don’t believe I am ready for a relationship. They never spoke again.
The other story was the quick con. I had a friend that lived up north, we had become close and spoke almost every day. She was smart and so sweet. She met a guy online and spoke by phone for about 2 weeks. They decided to meet. She was to drive to him, pick him up, and go to dinner. Things changed or his plan came together…
She arrived, they hugged, kissed and well, it became heated. They were together for a couple of hours, talked about the many things they would like to do together, places they would visit, etc. He said, call me when you get home. She felt warm all the way home. She called and nothing happened. He had blocked her everywhere. It was awful.
Both of these stories are common. These were quality, smart women that I knew well. They were not the type to sleep around. To be honest, these are the type of girls these men pray on. These girls are like grand prizes to men like that. I’ve never understood why anyone would do these things to really good people.
These are just two stories or sides of a two headed coin. I’ve heard many stories just like this. Different names, same stories. I’ve written about men being broken for almost 10 years. I’ve actually been one of them in my past. I believe that men were created to lead, live a life of purpose, and be a protector in society. When these things don’t exist in their lives they turn their energy into ego and their train goes off its track.
Two things I believe happen when these stories become a reality. They hurt an innocent person far more than they will ever know. And any man who is this deep in love with his own ego brings very little to the table as a lover. A good lover is there for her pleasure, not his own.I believe this with every fiber of my being.
In the singles community today I see many damaged people. Men and women who have lost so much. I’ve worn those shoes too. It’s my hope that we all understand one day that our actions can hurt people and if our actions are bad enough they can hurt people deeply. Why would we want that? Is a win worth damaging someone so badly?
Being single at a time when none of us ever expected to be single is devastating to most of us. Today would have been our anniversary. I was married before, we were together for 26 years. I can explain what happened to the best I understand it but in the end, neither one of us ever expected to be single again.
The nights alone are hurtful and confusing enough without others in the singles community hurting us even more. I’ll end this the way I often do. Be nice, lead with kindness, literally, do no harm. We’re all trying to figure life out and appear confident at the same time. Make loving others your default mode.
I love you guys. That’s how I end my videos. Once you know how things feel you begin caring what you do and affect others along the way.