Single Again… Fake Feelings

By Kenneth Stepp

Have you ever been told that someone loved you, then look at your life a year later and see that this person has vanished from you life? Me too…

We live in a world where everything is so sped up. Microwave ovens, instapots, and the internet. Welcome to life where what was a glimpse is now the entire story. I have met girls online, had a great conversation, we seemed like we could be friends, and then they vanish. Why? Because they “investigated” my online persona and developed an opinion based on, what mostly, were other people’s words. Too fast, too far, and a losing way to do life.

I’m working from home today, I do my deepest thinking on those days. I am alone. I’m alone because a few in my past had fake feelings for me. We’ve all been there. I remember one girl I met, she was amazing, on the surface at least. Every time we were together, she would say, I adore you. I thought I was done with my search, I had found my Her. It turns out that she was, “adoring” another at the same time.

Many of my friends have been told they were loved by someone only to be left behind when that love was directed at someone other than my friend. That isn’t love, it’s selection. Being faithful in today’s world is a choice. One must decide how they will handle distractions before they come. And they will come. You are perfectly happy with your mate and BOOM. You receive a message or text, “hey”.

The power of the “HEY” will be based on several things. Is it an old lover, new potential, a regret, or just a fantasy you once had? If we wait until a distraction comes to decide how to handle them, we’ve already lost. I use to mentor small business owners. Integrity is always the most important thing in any venture.

I also taught others how to start businesses. The first thing I would tell them is to decide who they are before they hang their sign up. Because deciding moral positions while we are under stress leads to immoral actions. For this reason, one must know what they are to do when “things happen”.

My title says fake feelings. My previous love interest said she adored me. That wasn’t true, but she used that line anyway. Why? Probably because it played well with someone in the past, or just felt good to say, it wasn’t because it was true. I have to admit, it was delightful to hear, we get beat up on this singles journey, those words comforted me for a moment. I suppose I should thank her, but we stopped talking and that works best for me.

There are several kind of fake feelings running through this sea of singles. Not all are nefarious in nature. Some are not evil, disingenuous, or meant to hurt someone. Many are contrived, in other words, they truly want to feel that way towards someone. It’s that, fake it till you make it idea.

Some are based in evil. These are the people wanting to use someone and they will tug the heartstrings of their victim till they succeed. Someone needing a free place to live, wanting sex, or wanting someone to spoil them for a while. It’s sociopathic and based in selfishness and, dare I say, evil intentions. They leave a mess behind them.

Then there are those willing to abandon all logic, all dignity, and ego to have someone to do life with. I understand these souls better than any of them. I’ve almost done it. I was fortunate enough to find a roommate who needs me, we’re best friends and actually do a lot together. I enjoy doing things for her and I believe she does for me as well. If not, I may have taken another path. We all long for purpose. Remember that.

Now comes the gold standard. Real love. Finding our soulmate. This is our goal, dream, fantasy, call it what you will. The belief that God created this perfect human being to fit exactly into our life like two puzzle pieces. I haven’t stopped believing I will find her. My Her… Are you reading this sweetie?