By Kenneth Stepp
Desire… A word we use in many forms. You can desire a new house, car or thing. Maybe a new career or job. These are true desires but these contexts will not be my subject today. I cannot recall ever writing about desire before. Perhaps it’s because I stay away from carnal subjects. Because I believe desire in this context is a part of the singles journey, I will address it today.
First, as a writer who keeps it between the lines, this is a potentially dangerous subject. I will try to keep it G rated. I believe that will be easy for me because I look at such things as natural and not naughty. I’m very open and will discuss anything with anyone because I feel this way. I set my own boundaries because I am a very free spirit and worry little about who agrees or disagrees with my choices.
Desire can have a few other names. Chemistry is my favorite one. Sometimes it’s intense. You wonder if others can see it at times. Have you ever met someone for the first time and felt it? I have. It’s so powerful at that moment that to continue the conversation I feel like an actor staying in character. Like instead of having a normal conversation, I’m playing the role of a man not feeling anything.
My hope at this point is that you, my reader, actually understands the ramblings of a fool here. The kind of chemistry I am writing about is so rare. Over the last 7 ½ years I have met many women. I’m in the singles community and many groups because I write about being single and hope I might help others navigate the shark infested waters.
I remember a date I had once. It was in the beginning and only the second date I’d been on and with the first girl I met. We were meeting near Atlanta to go antiquing. We hugged, kissed, and frankly, could not stop. I can’t remember trying to stop, so maybe we just gave into desire and kept going. This date is the best date I can remember being on. Mainly because the who and what of it all. And the newness of dating.
Kissing led us to find a private parking spot. We climbed into the 3rd seat of my full sized SUV and continued. This story doesn’t get past a G rating even though it was an amazing 6 hours. Yes SIX HOURS! Best date ever! No disrobing at all. In the process of some very passionate kissing, we both were more than a little excited. I had a political “thing” to go to and had no time to go home and shower so had to go as was. Our date had gone longer than anticipated. What happened that night at the event was hilarious.
I was a few minutes late to the event and quickly worked the room. The thing I noticed was the women in the room noticed me much more than ever. A hand shake would turn into both hands holding my hand and lingering conversation. After about 30 minutes I knew what they were experiencing. Let’s just say that sexuality has a scent.
On my way home I called my date and told her the story. She laughed so hard about it. I’ve told the story many times and each time it is found to be funny. I learned a lot that night and the effects, although 7 years later, still linger too. Ever since that night, every woman’s event for that political party that happens in that county still sends me an invitation.
The desires we have are a natural part of our genetic makeup. They rise up in us for several reasons. They are also the product of a healthy body. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s wrong to have them. It may not be right to act on them at times but it’s always great to have them.
Being single is not easy in these times. Finding someone that brings out great things in us gets harder as the years go by. Enjoy the good moments without judgement or condemnation. It’s your life. You set your own boundaries. I’ll wrap this up by saying this. Make peace with who you are. Find what you desire and chase it. And if a moment turns into a life time, you have my utmost respect.
