Single Again… Alpha Males

By Kenneth Stepp

About me: I am very close to pure Viking blood, I’m a gentleman, a decent man, and I am an alpha male. My father was and my two big brothers are. I have been single for most of the last 9 years. I say most because I was with a woman for 14 months that changed a lot about the way I look at real love. She is gone. I know I will see her again when I’m finished here.

I decided to write a small bio about myself so that my readers can better understand my perspective on life, why my brain works the way it does, and why I believe that women in the singles community need to learn what an alpha male is and more than that, what an alpha male is not. 

First, we are not Neanderthals mouth breathing our way through life. I have 3 degrees and was an athlete most of my life. I’m competitive but respectful and I care about almost everyone I meet. My father taught my brothers and me to leave people better than we found them. I’d like to think we have done that through most of our adult lives.

I have spoken with so many singles. The women I’ve spoken with about what or who they are looking for have a common theme. They are looking for an alpha male. Later I see them with a man and his traits and actions are quite the opposite of an alpha. After the inevitable crash and burn of their relationship I have “the talk” with them about their choice of men.

I have concluded that many if not most have no idea what an alpha looks like so I wanted to try to explain. I’m hoping I can unwrap this correctly. You see, an alpha is easy to explain. Where it gets tricky is explaining what an alpha isn’t. Maybe that will be easy too.

There are things or traits that an alpha literally cannot have. A real alpha would never be jealous. He knows he’s enough for the woman in his life. He also knows how to love her and by his actions she will love him back in kind. An alpha will never treat a woman in a way that he would defend her from another male. An example. If another man slapped her, he’d defend her. He would never ever ever hit her himself. He’s a protector by nature.

When an alpha male falls in love he builds. It’s in his nature to want to build a relationship, build a peaceful homelife, and help to build a life for him and his partner that’s worth living for. His home becomes sacred. His partner is truly a part of his soul. The thought of cutting and running when things get tough doesn’t enter his mind. The phrase, in it to win it comes to mind.

An alpha has no need to keep score. Their bedpost has no notches on it. The difference between an alpha and a non alpha sexually is the alpha is there for her 100%. The non-alpha is there to pleasure himself. She’s simply an object needed for his stimulation. When a woman is intimate with an alpha she will remember it instead of trying to forget being used again. 

Alpha’s are not supermen. I was a fighter by trade for years and lost way more fights than I won. Lost a few outside of the ring too. We are flesh and blood and we hurt like everyone else. What we do with that hurt is different though. We try very hard not to let our damage damage others. I wish I could say that I won that every time but sadly I did not.

Alphas are protectors by nature. They fought wars protecting our freedoms and our way of life. They swore oaths and kept those oaths. They are faithful and speak of loyalty and valor. They serve a higher purpose than most. I’m old enough to retire yet still train daily, watch what I eat, and make sure I am able to defend what I love. Alphas think that way.

The singles community is full of problems that still surprise me to this day. Sex is everywhere and freely offered. But there are those who manipulate others to have sex with those who are not promiscuous. Is it a game? I haven’t been able to figure that one out yet. One of many unknowns for me. But they have perfected their lines enough to stay very busy.

Ladies if he’s abusive, arrogant, jealous, rude, or controlling, he is not an alpha. If an alpha male is what you want don’t settle for a manipulative beta male masquerading as an alpha. He usually gets louder and more rude when his mask starts falling off. 

Like most days I am home in my quiet house thinking today. I had a conversation with a friend this morning who is also swimming in this sea of singles like me. She knows I am keeping to myself for now. I told her I no longer fit in that sea. I’m a dinosaur now. She laughed and said we both were. It was supposed to be a funny conversation but it was true too. 

Time will not slow down for any of us. Use what time you have left carefully and with purpose. Time is the only thing of real value on this planet. Spend it wisely and spend it loving someone who deserves you. That’s my plan…