By Kenneth Stepp
What if? Those two words really pack a punch in this sea of singleness. What if I found my forever love and the timing was wrong? What if we were two ships passing in the night? What if there was someone else in our lives at the time? What if one of us was too damaged? What if one of us recognized it and the other did not? Well, that last one is usually where stalkers come from, so beware of that one. This would be a great place to insert a smiley face.
“It’s fun to think of the what-if. Scary, but fun. It’s like, I thought this door was closed before, but here it is open just the tiniest crack. What if?”
― Jenny Han
For myself, what ifs are prevalent, they are part of my daily life, they enter my mind or should I say, invade my mind at inappropriate times. One must wonder why? I was with my ex for 24 years. Did I do the wrong thing? Did I fall in love with the wrong person? Did I miss out on someone incredible for whatever reason, timing maybe? These are real thoughts that haunt all of us in the dating after divorce world. At least that is what I see.
“You see, the what ifs are as boundless as the stars.”
― Sally Gardner
Boundless is a great description. It seems the longer I am on this journey the more what ifs I run into, and the more I have. And yes, the more I keep. What ifs cause us to have regrets. Of course, we never know how the what ifs would play out because they didn’t happen. We regret what we cannot know. How unfair is that? For me, it seems very much unfair. To be haunted by an event that logic tells us never happened.
“You’re worried about what-ifs. Well, what if you stopped worrying?”
― Shannon Celebi
Nonetheless, I worry about what ifs anyway. I’m guessing you do as well. There are some what ifs that are more interesting, even fun. I ponder them too. They are what I try to dream of some nights. Like what if the what ifs were not all bad.
“But what if you’re wrong?
What if there’s more?
What if there’s hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if they’re more than enough?
What if it’s love?”
― Nichole Nordeman
I’ve spent my life trying to be enough for someone. Trying to be loved. I’m not alone, many had it and lost it, a few still hold it, the rest of us are treading water and waiting…
Protect your heart, learn how to handle what ifs without regrets, but above all. Never give up or give in.
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