Single Again… The Timing Puzzle

By Kenneth Stepp

I want to begin this by saying, if you knew me 6 months ago, I’m a new me today. Why am I saying this? Because all of us on this singles journey need to understand timing. We change rapidly because being single and dating moves at a high rate of speed now. As we are hit from the right, we duck to the left. We evolve. So what has happened to me in the past 6 months has changed me in some way.

I have heard stories about timing for the 6 ½ years I’ve been single. We met, we were not a match, then 3 years later, BOOM! We were perfect for one another. It can be any time frame and can happen to any of us. The opposite is true as well. You are so drawn to someone, it didn’t work out, and three years later you meet only to wonder what you ever saw in them.

As I think back on past loves and near misses, I don’t have to wonder how they are, I’m pretty good at keeping up with people I cared about. But I do wonder about what we almost were. I wonder what it would be like to be together again. Once two souls have meshed, they are usually tied together forever. I thought about this this morning. About a girl, an almost forever girl in my past.

I wrote a piece years ago title, Can The Past Be The Future Again? The answer to the question was a resounding, yes! I write about my forever all the time, I end most of those pieces with the question, do I know her? Because we change so much, I believe it’s entirely possible, maybe even probable. Events and experiences change who we are almost daily.

Who I am and who I will be have different answers. The important traits are changeless. Integrity, honesty, being transparent, be faithful. These things are core ingredients that make up who I am as a human being. Being hurt, having damage, and what happens in life are the things that bring change in other forms. Can I trust you? Can I love again? Can you?

Questions… These are questions that can only be answered by two things. Time and tenacity. Time because it takes time to know if something is real. Tenacity because in the fast lane of the internet highway, there are many distractions that can appear to be options. It takes tenacity and commitment not to drift out of our lane. That never ends well.

So, should I sift through my past and find her? It’s plausible that she is there, stuck, hoping to find forever in her future instead of remembering this guy from way back when. I guess the Way Back Machine is warming up, I can hear it idling just outside my window. Who is she? She is who she was and she is also, everything that has happened to her since we last met. So am I. We’re like strangers that know one another well.

Today I am in park mode. I do this because the wisest person I ever knew gave me so many pieces of wisdom. He was my mentor and dean of the bible college I attended. One thing he told me was, when you don’t know what to do, don’t do anything. As my heart races to try and capture the greatest prize ever, my memory of his words keeps me in park. A life on pause…. 



  1. Timing doesn’t always jive with both parties.. Wish it did.. One is ready & the other is not… With that being said, sometimes it’s spot on.

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