By Kenneth Stepp
Have you ever met someone and thought, if only I had met this person when? When of course is subjective to every circumstance an individual might have. When can also be a mythical time or place that actually doesn’t exist or never happens. Our eyes see something they want, our heart feels something for someone it can’t define, our our body desires someone which may simply be hormones. Having said that, any one of these can make you think, if only at another time. What if there is more? Why can’t we have them all? Desiring someone physically, wanting someone emotionally, finding attraction to someone. I’ve experienced this before and that relationship altered who I would become. The relationship didn’t last, but the effect it had on me did and always will.
“She arrived like as a raging storm, moving everything in me, then moved away like a soft wind, taking it all back with her” – K Stepp
Everyone we allow inside our small bubble leaves us something and takes something with them when they go. There is a trade that happens and it is completely out of our control. The truth is, by the time I allow someone into my orbit, I’ve already invested myself in them and never know what I invested. If they should stay forever, wow! What a great thing, but I’m single because, even though I was with my wife for twenty four years, no one has stayed. So for me, forever is my unicorn. Forever is, in my life, a working theory more than anything. But it is also my goal. I often say I know her, I just don’t know her name. I know so much about her that I feel close already. I believe she will as well. We just need to find one another, or have we already and don’t realize it? Love throws curveballs.
“She is a mystery I must learn, a tall tale I must read, and the only story that is stuck in my head. She is my forever love” – K Stepp
I know her… Do I? Are we friends? Internet crushes? Or simply passionate plays dancing inside our minds? Like a said, love is the greatest mystery. I met a girl years ago and fell so in love with her. More so than I have ever experienced before. We lasted all of a few months. But during that short time I experienced some amazing things. I experienced feeling safe with someone, loved by someone, completely accepted, wanted and desired by her. Whether these were true at all, it was what I felt. It was an intoxicating time for me. A time when my life finally made sense, after a truly bad marriage, or at least the last few years were. I woke up every day with a renewed confidence in myself and who I was to someone. Obviously we didn’t last, but I got to taste something rich and want it again.
“She was addicting, she was all I everything all at once, she happened to me, she moved on like a tropical storm, to wash away someone else’s dreams” – K Stepp
Another time… The next time you look at someone and think, another time we would be important to one another. Another time you could be the one. The next time you have these thoughts about someone. Take it from drive to park and wait. Another time could happen because you hit pause. Take the time to make another time happen now. You never know what might happen. Maybe you make a great forever friend, maybe it’s love…
“I see her, she sees me, we know…” – K Stepp
Another great insightful and heartfelt read! WHEN I was in my late teenage years. I had a great summer romance with a wonderful guy. I believed that we would be together forever, but he met and married someone else and my heart was crushed. I remember when he got engaged I received a letter from his younger brother telling me how shocked the entire family was because they all thought he and I would end up together I was honestly shocked myself as well! Now I find myself playing the what if and I should have game in my head! I should have spoken up and told him how I truly felt! Oh well. He’s now married with tons of kids it is what it is, but should I ever feel that way about another guy I won’t make the same mistake!
Lisa
Thank you for your comment. I try to remember to say what I fee, do what I say, and stay away from, “what if’s”. I’m not very good at staying away from what if’s though.