By Kenneth Stepp
As a single man in the dating scene, I search for compatibility, I search for a kind, understanding, and wonderful mate. Mostly though, like many others, I search for love. An unconditional love that accepts fully the mess that I am. A girl who will see me through the filter of real love. My astonishment begins here. What have I asked for?
Love is a potent remedy to so many storms that life blows into our path. To have that person, my person, standing next to me during these crazy storms would be amazing. I found love. I found this unconditional all accepting love that poets drone on and on about. What I learned was that this love can come with a lot of pain. Confusion too.
We met on an online dating site years ago. We had chemistry, a lot of chemistry. We also had a lot of distance between us, we faded apart quickly but began again some time later. One day we were just friends, the next day we were far more than just friends. Our hearts connected in a way that stitched them forever. Woven together with real love. We found love together.
Like all great stories, this one didn’t end there. Over time we knew that what our hearts desired was not what our lifestyles could give us. Imagine searching for unconditional love, finding it, then realizing you can never be… This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through. It’s been years and over time I learned as did she, to live with it. We both moved on…
About that moving on thing. Although it’s never said, we both know. It wasn’t long ago that we met for lunch. The hug goodbye lingered, the kiss on the cheeks were less than desired, and the feelings that appear when we look into each other’s eyes, well, they have power. But in the end, not every love story ends the way our hearts thought they would. She’s my best friend today and I’d guard that friendship with my life.
My search continues. My girl is out there, I’m sure of it. In the meantime, I work on me. I want more than anything to be the man she will approve of. We learn lessons every day. Life has a way of teaching us what matters and what doesn’t. I’ve learned things matter very little. The real treasures in life have heartbeats. I didn’t always know that.
Have you taken time off from dating to work on yourself? I recommend it for everyone. You see, I know who my girl is. I just don’t know her name. She is an amazing human being. She’s smart, loves with a capacity that I can hardly comprehend, and she loves the things that interest me. If I am going to get her attention then I have to be the best I can be. Perhaps we are both simply in different stages of becoming who we will be.
Today I will be a better man than yesterday. I see it happening through my writing. I can go back and read something I wrote a year ago. The today version of me is a better me than the one from a year ago. I believe we grow spiritually and emotionally if we focus on them.
I’m often asked, can you love again? My answer is always the same. I was created out of love by a loving creator. Of course I can love again, we all can. Remember, love is a miracle. And miracles are always amazing.
#comefindme
