The Kindness of a Loving God
By Kenneth Stepp
Becoming Benjamin:
At 16 years old, he was coming into his own. He was a shy kid, just trying to be a man, Skinny Benny was his name most of his childhood. He found himself at a dirty gym in the inner city. The sport was boxing. He wasn’t known for his physical prowess, yet he mustered the courage to be there. He awkwardly pushed one rope down and pulled one up and stepped into the ring. The mat felt strange. Bouncy even. He wasn’t expecting that. The ring favorite came up. His name was Jabber, no doubt a nickname. Just another kid, no doubt from the neighborhood, stepped into the ring and stared at Benny. He had been here many times and they called him Champ, Benny was new at this. He thought he’d be trained before this. Evidently, training is what he was doing here. The ref made his way to the center of the ring. Fighters waved to the middle. Fair and clean fight, he said. Ding! It was a massacre. Benny found himself on the mat, bloody, ears ringing, and yet, alive in a way he’d never been. What just happened?
The next day Benny hurt in places he didn’t know he had. Sporting a black eye and a very fat lip. All he could say was two things. At least he did it. And he could do better. It was hot out that day. Benny’s family had no idea about the sport he was interested in. Something about it just sucked him in. He felt compelled to know what it was and to master it. Looking back, it was all a plan for his life. To him, it was something that called him. He trained, He ran every day, he studied the great fighters, he watched videos, went to matches, lifted weights, he trained. Some days, it was mindless actions, some days it was obsession. And to Benny, it was something he had to do. Some of the guys at the gym, seeing he was so committed to training, asked, why not be a bodybuilder? Fighters get hurt, bodybuilders get the girls. All he knew was that he was a warrior. It may be deep inside him, but he knew what he was.
Three months had passed and Baby Leroy, the trainer at the gym said, you’ll be gloving up tomorrow night, I’m out of fighters. Benny was a little intimidated by his last humiliating loss, but reluctantly agreed. He moved across the gym to the power bag. It was a leather bag hanging from the ceiling by a chain. It was hard as a rock and weighed about 200 pounds. Baby Leroy, Benny yelled across the room. What! Can I do this? This is your domain, the last time I fought, I embarrassed myself and hurt for days. Son, God has a plan for all of us. You are no better or worse than any of us. Tomorrow night you will take all the time and investments I poured into you into the ring. If I didn’t think you were ready, I wouldn’t tell you to glove up. Hit the showers and get some rest, you’re going to need it.
Sleep was elusive that night. He tossed and turned. There wasn’t anyone to talk to about it. His family was in disarray, no one would understand. Benny was the youngest of three boys, they called me kid. To them this fighting stuff was their business, not the runt of the family. He finally began to doze off. As he fell into a deep sleep, he dreamed. He dreamed of being a warrior. Facing the battle as a knight on the battlefield. Covered in armor, sword in hand, rushing up the next hill. With his life on the line, his next move could be his last, every step he took was important, every breath he took meant his life could end. He was sure he was in a battle with other warriors, his dream was vivid and so complete. The colors, sounds, and smell of the bloody field were so real. How, How did he get there, when would this be over? Startled by his oldest brother entering his room and shaking him. Are you ok kid? You were screaming and moving around in your bed so loud I could hear you across the hall. I’m ok. Sorry I woke you. He sank back into a deep sleep.
Benny woke up naturally the next day. Coffee and cereal. Not exactly the breakfast of champions. He looked at the clock, 9:30 am. His fight seemed so far away. He had to check in at the gym at 5:00. Feeling this anxious, how would he fill this day? Having finished breakfast, he pondered the day ahead. Companionship on this journey would be helpful. His family had no idea and he was a loner. He made no real friends at the gym, some even made fun of him for being so quiet. Most stayed away from him because of the seriousness he took with workouts. Baby Leroy always said to take it easy before a fight. He took it easy the first time and found himself on the floor covered in his own blood. He decided to go for a run. Five miles on the street would be a great way to start the day.
Inner city gyms are dirty and dark for the most part. And fight night had one thing that always happened. Gamblers. The amount of cash being bet was amazing to Benny. Two men get into the ring, everyone gets a good look at them, most are there every week and know who the fighters are, their records, previous fights, and their style of fighting. Benny walked the aisle to the ring, grabbed the rope and climbed in. He walked around for a moment waiting to see who his opponent would be. A train of guys and a man in a hooded robe began making a theatrical beeline for the ring. One rope up, one held down, he entered the ring. As he danced around, arms in the air, hood falling off, his worst fears came to life. It was Jabber again. No doubt, here to make a fool of him again. Baby Leroy looked over with the most wise look I had ever seen. “You got this.”
As the fighters met the ref in the center of the ring, Benny listened to his instructions, moved away, the bell rang, and they moved into the middle of the ring. Jabber began with a right hook catching Benny on the chin, he staggered back, caught himself on the ropes, Jabber, sensing the end was near, shot two more punches quickly. Benny knew he was in trouble and pushed Jabber back like he was in a street fight. Shaking his head “no”, he came back at Jabber, left, left, left, right hook, Jabber was rattled. The bell rang. No idea if anyone was saved by the bell, but this was a very different fight than before. This was two warriors, not one warrior and a lost boy. Baby Leroy told Benny while he was in his corner, you had him. The next round, take him out.
The bell rang again, Jabber came in fast, he tried the same combination, Benny stepped back, and then back in, Jabber didn’t know what hit him. He was out, completely out. Benny had never seen a man just drop. It was as if he was an outsider watching a fight. He had beaten their best. As Jabber was helped up, Baby Leroy said, I told you you had this. I will never lie to you son. If I tell you a mouse can pull a wagon, hook him up. Still on a high that only a winner can know, he wanted to shower up and go somewhere to celebrate. But where does a 16 year old loner go? He goes home and hopes his parents don’t see he’s been in a fight, then off to his room. Today was a great day. The warrior child had his first victory. Life has a way of reminding us that not every experience will be a win. And Benny’s life was no different. Loss would always be his faithful companion.
The Professional:
Today was the day. Going pro as they call it. After almost three years of blood sport and pain. Benny would hold the title of a professional boxer. Oh happy day. He was excited. Now 19 years old, in the shape of his life, and eager to become whatever he was becoming. Having made a name for himself in Golden Gloves, the new Benny was emerging as a pro fighter and that was exciting to him. Pride and a feeling of superiority would not serve him well in the future. But that is a lesson to be learned. There would be many lessons to come. Today was his day. Being licensed by the state to fight professionally. That’s what today was about. Not the future, not the money, not even what people thought. The only thing that mattered was how he felt today. And that was amazing…
Literally across the ring. That is how far he was knocked in his first professional fight. He’d never been hit so hard and so often. His knockout may have been merciful. It was also telling. He stood toe to toe with another professional boxer and lost magnificently. Not how he wanted to begin his historic rise to fame. And certainly not the record he wanted, 0 and 1. What on earth went wrong? Every thought imaginable went through his mind. If he was going to lose, why lose so easily? Why was he not able to even defend himself? Too many why’s and not enough answers. Boxing had so many rules. Was he meant to go back to civilian life, he thought. He was about as down as he’d ever been.
Four years later, as he stepped into the ring again, he was weary. With a record of 8 and 19, he had little to no chance to make it big in boxing. All he could do was stand tall to the guy in front of him. Just another road bump in a less that average boxing career. As they stood staring at one another before the bell rang, Benny wondered, has this guy found winning to be much harder than he’d expected like he had? What is winning really? At the end of the night we will both be in the hospital. If his stay is shorter, did he win? Philosophy is a terrible thing when one is bleeding. And by the end of the fight, they both were.
The Offer:
Gladiator sports… Benny had never heard that phrase before. Yet here he was, standing in front of a guy making him an offer. You hit like a mule kicks. You would be amazing without gloves, refs, and rules. Imagine hearing this after spending the majority of your adult life following rules and the ref’s orders. The day after the fight, a very suspicious man showed up at my door. How would you like to make some real money? Really? I make money now, Benny thought to himself. The stranger looked at him with very confident eyes. He knew what he wanted to say before he said it. Boxers like you flame out quickly. You were good enough to go pro, but not good enough to beat a lot of other professional boxers. It happens more often than not. Benny was intrigued, so he agreed to meet him in the morning at a local coffee shop for a serious conversation.
Benny woke up late. It seems injuries drain the life out of the body and sleep is something the body requires to move on. He noticed the time and dragged himself out of bed and began to move with purpose. They say time waits for no one, and the opportunity this guy was talking about came once in a lifetime. Maybe never in a lifetime. The money he said he would make per fight, should he qualify, was more than he’d ever hoped for as a boxer. It was life altering money. Fame? He never mentioned that… He’d find out why in the future.
He was kind of a weasel. His name was Jimmy, there was something very sleazy about Jimmy, but he spoke of a future in fighting that Benny knew he did not have in boxing. He was funny, but he knew he was there just following orders. Who gave him those orders, he had no idea. How would you like to make the big bucks? $10k per night. Looking back, Benny wished he had asked about the “per night” thing. He only knew per fight. That would be huge in his life. He asked for details. You will have to be trained, but we think you will be perfect. Intrigued, Benny said yes. The offer was just too good given the direction his boxing career was heading.
Training Day:
Benny showed up expecting trainers. What he found was Jimmy and another guy. Training will be intense, they said. You will go through several stages of training. The first will be with a master. Benny was asked to follow them. Three hours later, he was in the parking lot of a very seedy looking hotel. It was horrible. A clarifying picture of things to come. They entered an alley. There was a door that was very dark, They entered it and there it was. A dojo like none Benny had seen before. This would be his home for several months. He wasn’t excited about it, but he needed a career change and this held promise. That day was a turning point in his life and up till then was the most significant day yet.
Push, push, push. The training was brutal. It pushed Benny’s human limits. Strength training, endurance racing, diet, carbing up. They had found ways of adding weight to his body and dissolving fat. Injections and more injections, 1000 push ups before bed, he was becoming something unfamiliar. But it felt great. He could run, I mean run, forever, up and down streets too. He could strike a power bag so hard that the sound echoed all across the gym. He felt amazing, and felt so strong, he felt like a god. He was becoming invincible.
The Farm:
Four months of the most brutal yet amazing training he had ever had. He was becoming something he didn’t know he could be. He was awakened at 4:00 AM. Get up, we are moving. The hole in the wall Benny called home was both a dump and had become home to him. It seemed disgusting when he arrived but he made it work. The drive was long, Jimmy had very little to say, he was usually talkative to the point of bothering him. So where is my new home? They call it The Farm. That sounded like a needed break to Benny, the inner city has its own charm, but hearing a rooster in the morning sounds great too. They drove for several hours, only stopping every little while for bathroom breaks. We were in the country now and it was beautiful. The air smelled so clean. On these country roads Benny began to imagine what this farm would be like. Nothing could have prepared me for the truth.
Anatomy 101:
The main house was big and beautiful. Off to the right was a huge barn with a small cabin beside it. They pulled up at the cabin, Benny grabbed the few items that belonged to him and took them in. Welcome home! He turned and there was a very large man in gym shorts on the porch standing at the door. No time to unpack, orientation is in ten minutes. Benny learned early on in this adventure to just go along, ask few questions, and do what he needed to to prepare him for what needed to be done. He walked over to the barn. It really was huge. Made of metal, red with a large sliding door to walk through. As he walked in, he was impressed by how neat it was kept. It had different sections for different uses. To the right was the ring, he supposed he could box there. To the left were rooms. Rooms without ceilings, the ceiling on the barn was very high, maybe 40 feet, they built these rooms to make him feel he was in classrooms, or that was the only thing he could think of.
They walked into the first room, there was a thin pale guy in a lab coat. Benny, this is Doc. He will be spending the next month or so with you. They shook hands. Doc’s hands were soft and weak, Benny’s had become large and muscular. He winced when he tried to give him a firm handshake. Benny realized he had changed to the point that he needed to keep his hand strength in check. Time for your first class Benny. Let’s learn something, he replied. For the next month we will be studying human anatomy. More importantly, how to destroy it. Benny smiled and said, well alrighty then. Classes were 5 hours a day, seven days a week. Physical training was even harder at the farm. Benny sparred with guys that were not his equal. There were moments when he felt he had no equal. His confidence was higher than ever. He was being taught the science of devastating other human beings. It fascinated him.
Well, They Called it a Farm:
Noticing no crops or animals, Benny was left to wonder why they named this, The Farm. They say curiosity killed the cat. He was about to find out why. After a month he was in the best shape of his life. He knew he was becoming something amazing and maybe a little scary, He knew he was being prepared for something amazing too. He followed Doc to another room, it was new to him. They walked in, it was cold and dark, it was refrigerated and had a ceiling. He flipped the lights on. Ten dead bodies lay on their own tables. The Farm was a body farm. And in retrospect, he was the cash crop. Himself and others like him. He’d find out later, there were very few. Today we will learn how to maximize damage to real humans. If he had not come so far, he’d leave right now. Looking back, this also desensitized him and taught him how to bring pain, lots of pain. They had to prepare his body to hurt other peoples bodies. They were definitely on track. Bone breaking, mastoid strikes, liver strikes, anything that could win a fight was what he learned. It was brute force meeting science. He had to admit, it felt great.
Fight Day:
They drove for over 12 hours. It was beautiful. They were in Connecticut, he thought. The state signs were a blur. What day is this Jimmy? Friday, we’ll be staying in a nice hotel tonight, you’ll love it. It was all that. This was the finest hotel Benny had ever seen. Benny had his own room, Jimmy said to enjoy it. Tomorrow night is your first fight. Benny still had no idea the type of fighting or the person he’d fight. He knew one thing. He would not want to be that guy. Benny felt like Superman. And that is who his opponent would be fighting. He actually couldn’t wait.
The Contestants:
The warehouse they were holding this fight in was large and in town. Benny was in an office inside of the warehouse. Put this on, Jimmy said. It was a baggy tee shirt. There was no ring, he was puzzled how they were going to have a fight without one. As he sat in a chair, it was a business chair behind a desk actually. Benny asked Jimmy who he would be fighting tonight. Just a few locals. A few? Jimmy, I am unsure I can take on a “few” guys at once, he said. Relax, you fight one at a time. Your job is to make it look close each time before you put them down. Make it look good. Benny knew what that meant. This entire journey had always been on the job training. As he walked out of the room he noticed the energy first, then the gambling, everyone made a human circle and he was walking towards the center of it. The names of the men they threw at him that night meant nothing to him. In all, one at a time, seven men entered the circle to fight Benny. Seven men were carried out. The hardest part of the night was making it look close, and not slipping on all the blood. He had become superhuman.
Payday:
They stayed an extra day at the hotel. Benny had to admit, it was a welcome break. He woke up and called Jimmy’s room. Let’s do something today Jimmy. Sounds great, I’ll be over in 30 minutes or so. Jimmy and Benny had never spent any time together other than work. Their drives were quiet. He never seemed to want to be there. They took a taxi to the city, it was refreshing. Choosing a cafe with outdoor seating, they relaxed. Jimmy handed him a check. It was made out to a company, B Power Inc. It was for $10,000.00. What’s this and who is B Power Inc? That’s what you made last night and B Power is a company they set up for you. Tomorrow I’ll take you to open a bank account. He’d never seen so many zeros. Growing up in the inner city in abstract poverty, this was shocking. We will be moving to Atlanta Georgia this week. Why Atlanta? Why not was all he got from Jimmy. Let’s get going.
Atlanta Georgia:
Growing up in Kentucky, made the North Georgia mountains look amazing. He’d never seen such green mountains. They were majestic in a way. Beautiful and clean. He pictured living in a cabin on a mountain top overlooking a river or lake. Maybe one day… They drove through Kennesaw Georgia and headed west, Kennesaw was a quaint little town north of Atlanta. The fact they have a law requiring every citizen to own a gun intrigued Benny. The south. A bastion of civil war history and beautiful small towns everywhere. Down a country road again. Where are we going Jimmy? Home, our home. He’d be sharing a home with Jimmy. He did not see that coming. Another farm. Horses, goats, ducks, and chickens, he loved it. The house was nice. He counted 4 bedrooms as he walked through it. Two masters, one was mine. I hope I’m here a while, Benny said in a cheerful voice.
The Life of a Gladiator:
Over the next few days, Jimmy and Benny were becoming friends. One night they decided to grill some steaks and have a few beers. Dinner on the back deck watching the horses play together was wonderful. How did I get to this place Jimmy? What have I walked into? You were chosen. You have a high IQ, hard to find in the boxing game. You pushed yourself physically. My job is to spot guys like you. Then manage them. What have you walked into? A machine, and you are a small cog in a huge wheel. They run a gambling machine. You my friend are a gladiator for the machine. You’re a ringer. What we call, a “fightist”. From what I can tell, we have 6 to 10 people like you at any given time. Your first fight made them over $19 million dollars. You received ten thousand, I get a little less. Every place you’ve been, including this place, belongs to them. They promote the fights to very wealthy people, some as far away as Dubai and Saudi Arabia. Some fights take in over $100 million dollars. They created you to win every fight, but make you wear a baggy tee shirt to make it look like you’re not “all that”.
Every Two Weeks:
Benny’s employers had an interesting business model. He remained curious as he studied it. He trained everyday, He knew no other life now. Training was a habit, routine is his constant companion. His mind worked differently than most. He’d find out years later why. Today was a travel day. Where are we off to? Jimmy smiled and said, New Orleans. You’ll love it. Benny had healed up nicely from his last fight, he felt great. Honestly, looking back, he always felt great. It’s been about two weeks Jimmy. Is that going to be a thing? Every other Saturday night we fight. Some are bigger than others. This fight will be a big one. We are hosting some very wealthy people from the other side of the planet. Should be fun. Benny smiled. For whom will this be fun for? Jimmy laughed and said, you on payday. Remember to save your money. Shelf life in this business is brief.
Shelf Life:
Two years. They told Benny, that was longer than most made it as a gladiator. What does a warrior do when there are no more wars to fight, no battle to be won or lost? No contests to stand up to? He had money, he had a great mind and an amiable personality. He moved back to Kentucky and bought a small home on some land. Privacy mattered to him. His home sat far enough from the country road it was on that people didn’t notice he was there. He trained outside most days. Chopping wood for hours. His mind would drift to business. He decided he should open a business of some kind. The search for his passion was on. History, training, and art were what he found gave him energy. Art and history would be his chosen career. He began going to antique auctions in the mountains. He started storing the gems he bought and looking for where to market them and how.
Atlanta Calls Him:
Atlanta never left Benny’s heart and mind. After a lot of preparation and study, he settled on Atlanta again. He took a trip down south and began visiting areas that would make not only a great home, but a place that would be good for an antique and art store. Most days were spent just visiting these lovely little towns. He combed through ads daily until the print became blurry. He wanted to find a place that would not only be a great spot for retail, but would also have some history to it. The search was daily and obsessive. He knew when he saw it, he’d know.
Madison Georgia:
Morning coffee and a real estate magazine. This had become his reality of late. As he looked through the colorful ads and hoped something would catch his eye, there it was. A house in Madison Georgia. It looked perfect. Built in 1886, it was everything he’d been looking for. He called the agent immediately. It was a typical sunny day in the south, it was Spring, everything was blooming, He arrived in Madison anticipating something good was happening today. He drove through the prettiest little town he’d ever seen. Madison was a wealthy small town, south east of Atlanta. Founded by James Madison before he became our president. Antebellum homes were everywhere. And he was going to be looking at one of them. He pulled up to the house. Wow! That was the only word he could say at the moment.
Home:
The agent was filling him in on the history of this house. Her words fell on deaf ears. Benny was lost in the old architecture, the gingerbread on the three sided front porch. He was home. He was also going to have his business here. He would live upstairs and have his antiques and art downstairs. When can I move in? Well, we have to see when we can close. I’m writing a check. I’ll be ready to move tomorrow. Happy but confused, she said, let me see what I can arrange, her smile never left her face. In three weeks Benny was open for business. Marketing came naturally for him. Business began booming. You would think he’d be happy. He missed being a warrior. But that life was behind him. What to do now?
Benny Sees Bad Guys:
Benny had a BMW that he’d bought when he first retired from fighting. He ran an ad in a local publication. He received a call from a man who wanted to come and buy it. The car was over $20,000.00 and he wanted to pay cash. Of course I’ll accept cash, Benny answered. Why not? He came with his tribe. Africa somewhere was where his accent came from. He paid Benny for the car and left. A week later he received a call from a federal agent about the BMW. The car had been involved in a plot to scam a bank in Michigan for millions. The only thing the agent had to identify anyone was that Benny’s card was inside the glove box of his old car. It was a real estate deal that involved money laundering. Benny was instantly fascinated. The agent said he’d be in town soon and wanted to see Benny while he was there. He was intrigued. He began investigating this Stranger who bought his car. Turned out, it was a skill he had. And a passion.
Another Beginning:
Benny dug in, he began looking into everything about the guy that bought his car. He had about an hour long conversation. He was relaxed with him, like most are. He remembered every word. One thing he remembered was the area he lived in Atlanta and a bar he and his friends frequented. He went online and studied surveillance techniques. Figuring they were night owls, He watched. The next night was the payoff. There he was, with all his tribe in tow. It was a little after 2:00 am, they came out and headed home. Benny followed from a distance. They pulled into a townhome complex. He hung back, waited a few minutes and drove in. He knew they were here somewhere and only had to find the van they were in. There it was in the driveway. He went by, took a snapshot of the tag and wrote down the address. He had created an entire file on his foreign friends. Where they went during the day, places they liked to eat, their lives in a nutshell. It was exciting and fun for him.
The Offer:
The agent finally arrived in town and called. Can you meet me today? Of course. Benny gave him the address of a restaurant in downtown Madison with outdoor seating. They met at 1:00 pm. Sitting at a table outside, the sidewalk was made of brick. Quaint and something Benny particularly enjoyed. They shook hands and went right at his case. He said he needed to find out who this man was, he has hurt so many over the last 24 months. Benny handed him the file he compiled on them. Have you ever been a cop? No, just have a knack for finding people. I enjoyed it, he said. Three nights later they raided the townhome and took down what turned out to be a bank fraud network. Benny was pleased to get a bad guy off the street. He thought that was the end of it till a couple weeks later he received a call from a man he would forever know, as Rocky. I represent the American government and would like to buy your lunch. Benny had no idea how his life would change after that day.
Meeting The Handler:
Rocky was Italian and funny. Too much energy, but very likable. Looking back, he was a recruiter. I represent federal law enforcement. I’d like to know if you would consider working with us from time to time? I looked your tax records up, I know you do not need the money. It’s cash and we are generous. You are right. I am ok financially, Benny answered. But before I accept or reject your offer, what would I be doing? Investigations, building cases, making arrests. Pretty simple really. Benny’s imagination was piqued. I think I would like that, he said. We’ll set you up with everything you will need. I’ll call you soon. Wait. What agency do you work for? He smiled that broad smile, “all of them”. Again, Benny was intrigued. He really looked forward to his call.
My First Case:
Two weeks later Rocky called. Meet us at FBI headquarters, ask for Rocky at the front desk. He already had their address. It was north of Atlanta. Benny was uneasy, but excited to see a new chapter opening in his life. The antique business was great, art moved him, but something was missing. Maybe it was taking risks, maybe it was excitement. Or perhaps he’s just addicted to fear. The idea of doing something that might end in him dying was invigorating. The idea of thinking that confused him a little. Am I normal, he asked? The jury was still out on that one. All he knew was he had something exciting to look forward to and nothing was going to stop him from doing it.
Agent In Charge:
Rocky introduced him to Senior Field Agent Michaels. I’ve been assigned this case, I’ll be the agent in charge. I will be the agent you work with. You will not work with anyone but me. Rocky cannot know anything about my case. With that, Rocky excused himself. It was just the agent and Benny. The case was about an elusive con man named John. He left a trail of victims for over 10 years. He’d never been caught, he was good at taking things that weren’t his. He briefed Benny and handed him a copy of his file. Benny suddenly found himself so thankful for his two employees. He could take a case any time and they had his back. People like that are so hard to find. The case was impossible for the FBI to end because this guy moved every two weeks. He had two armed bodyguards, so it really made Benny’s head tingle with excitement. Time to dig in.
The Take Down And Arrest:
His first case took him 45 days. It turns out, that would be the longest one he’d have for the next twenty years. He set up a sting and he fell for it. He made the arrest himself at Aaron Rents in Buckhead, near downtown Atlanta. It will forever be burned into his memory. He thought the federal Marshals were meeting him there. They were stuck in traffic, it was on him to bring this to a conclusion. He walked into the store, it’s him, he told the two employees that Benny had prepared earlier. He began moving towards the door. Benny stepped in front of the door and locked it before he could leave. He pulled his weapon and ordered him on the floor. He had no cuffs, he yelled at the guy behind the counter to throw him a roll of tape. He taped his hands behind his back and took him to the back room. He stood him up by the back door. He began asking questions about where his gang was and the address of their operation. He just said, “I want an attorney”, and smirked. Benny grabbed his throat pinning him against the wall. Do you think I’m a cop *&X$#@, his eyes looked as big as dinner plates. He saw fear like he’d never seen before that day. He gave Benny the information. He would have told him anything really. He gave up his entire crew out of fear. He was now a rat. The marshals arrived minutes later and were amused to see a broken man sitting in a chair with his hands taped behind his back. Benny was surprised to learn he only served 3 years.
She Touched Me:
Benny was minding his store one day and in walked a girl. She was a vision. She began looking around, if you don’t find anything you want just ask, smiled Benny. There is more in the back. I’m Pam, she stuck her hand out, Benny, or Benjamin, if you were family. She bought a couple of small pieces and left. She also took a piece of his heart with her. That had never happened before. Their conversation sat directly into his heart. Women buy antiques all the time. Benny met so many of them and didn’t feel a thing. This girl got his attention the second she walked into his shop. His hope was that she saw something else here she liked. He busied himself the rest of the day, but Pam stayed on his mind the rest of that evening.
He woke up before the sun the next morning. Something he felt was residual effects of his years of training. He still worked out. The intensity wasn’t the same. His friends considered me freakishly in shape. For him, he knew what being in shape was. He remembered, he always remembered how strong he became. And being able to run all day and never tire. He remembered when no other man had a chance against him. His confidence had not waned in the least. He was still becoming something. His entire life had felt like preparation for something. What? That remains to be seen.
Hunting Humans:
Rocky kept him busy. His spare time did not exist. His skill set seemed to be hunting. Bounty hunting for the feds. He doubted anyone saw that coming. I know Benny didn’t. Hunting became a way of life for him. It served up the excitement he needed and locking up bad guys couldn’t be a bad thing. He spent most weekends hunting. The FBI gave him access to all of their databases. Had he wanted to do domestic work, that would have been a handy tool. But chasing wayward spouses seemed repulsive to him. Not needing the money helped make decisions about what he spent his time doing easier. His antique and art business was growing and he had plenty of time to pursue other passions.
Expert Witness:
Rocky called last night. Calling at night was odd for him. He always felt he was put on his agenda most days and he was at the top of his call list. Benny usually heard from him before 6:00 am. I want to introduce you to someone in the morning, Rocky stated. So that morning, Benny stood at the federal building in Macon Georgia. Hello Benny, Rocky called and apologized, he won’t be joining us. In Benny’s mind, everything happens for a reason. Rocky was an operative. If he wasn’t here, it was because being here would hurt the outcome of the op. The man who greeted Benny was a federal prosecutor. He needed help with a money laundering case. He led Benny into his office and handed him a case file. As he read through it he saw an easy case in his opinion. Why do you need me? This case is a no brainer. He sat back in his chair and looked at Benny. I’ve had him here before. I had a first hand witness just like I do now. In that case, my witness died before trial. I have another first hand witness this time too. They do not know his identity. I’m asking you to be him. I need someone who can stay alive till this guy is behind bars. Rocky said you might be perfect for this. Benny’s new friend was asking him to follow a script on the stand. Lie under oath. You will be Ben Stone while the trial goes on. Benny smiled, I’m in. The trial begins next week. Here’s your script. Rocky wasn’t here so that there would be no witness to him asking me to lie under oath.
The Trial:
The following week came quickly. Benny arrived at the courthouse prepared for his role as an expert witness. As the proceedings began, he studied the courtroom and everyone in it. People interested him. He guessed that everyone says that, but his fascination with them is borderline obsessive. He wanted to know about everyone he met. The defendant looked very sociable. Like a nice guy. Unlike the jury, Benny had an opportunity to browse his file. He was a dangerous man and capable of great evil. They wrapped up the first day, Benny was told he did a great job. Evidently it was good enough to cause his defense attorney to ask for a plea deal. The first day was the last. They wrapped up. The guy received a sentence of 6 years in the federal penitentiary. There would be more courts, more scripts, more bad guys seeing Ben Stone on the stand. Benny would remember every last one of them.
She’s Back:
Minding the store that day was boring. He was alone most of the day, few customers, and very little to do. He toyed with the idea of closing early. At that moment he heard the ding of the bell on the front door. Pam, hello, you came back. Yes I did. I was in the area and thought I’d see if anything interesting came in. I went to an auction in Tennessee last week. I picked up a few paintings you may like, come this way. As they walked towards the back of the store she asked, is there a good place to eat in town? Yes, several. A few are stand alone restaurants, owned by locals. That’s the best kind, she said. It’s after 5, what time do you eat? Pam, I was just thinking of closing early and going to dinner. How about I show you around my beautiful town? I’d love that, she said with a grin. Closing up quickly, they jumped in his truck and headed out for a night he would remember the rest of his life.
Love Happens:
Pam and Benny saw one another every chance they could. He’d never been in love before. This was new territory for him, did he know how to love? Would she love him back? Days, weeks, months, they turned into years. They loved one another. Marriage was the inevitable end to this journey. The end. They were married at her home. A small wedding and a wonderful honeymoon. They decided on Charleston South Carolina for five days. It was one of the happiest times of their lives. He was so in love. He knew she would be his soulmate forever. Love is a powerful thing, many never find it. He felt he was the luckiest man alive. Other moments to be thankful for were on the way. He had just begun his most interesting adventure.
Having My Baby:
Three years passed like three weeks, business was booming, they had grown so much as a couple. Benny didn’t know he could be so happy or love so much as today. It was so busy at work and his bride had asked him to come home early. Dinner at home and a movie, cuddling with his girl. Who wouldn’t want to come home early for that? The drive home seemed long that day, they had been talking about selling the house and moving closer to his store. It’s a conversation that is getting ready to move to the front of the line. He pulled into the garage and walked in, Pam had a way of always having something awesome cooking, the smell is always wonderful. She made their house a home…
Thank you for dinner baby, thank you she said. I have news she said with excitement. What’s the news sweetie? I’m pregnant! Not even for a nanosecond did he think about it. That’s awesome Pam. They had been trying to have a baby for over a year. His previous life led to injuries to his baby making parts and we were having difficulties conceiving. This was amazing news for their family. He was on another adventure, but this time he had a partner in crime. The love of his life will take this one with him. Happiness was magnified that night.
Family Matters:
Her name is Madison Elizabeth, they will call her Madi. She is the most beautiful person he had ever seen. This might be the best day of his life. This was the most impressive achievement in his life. Did he really achieve something here? Ha, who cares, he was so happy. This little girl would be his life, the reason he did anything important, she will be one of his main purposes in life. He was a father now. He had a great dad. He only hoped he could be as good as he was. He remembered that he couldn’t wait to call him and give him the news. Everything changed in their lives when Madi arrived, everything.
Changes:
He came home from work, Madi heard him and made a beeline for daddy, it was the happiest moment of the day for Benny, everyday. She was two now and was their world. Benny, we need to talk… Pam had a beautiful heart and those words never rattled him. What is it baby? How would you feel about going to church? I hadn’t thought much about it, he said, but sure. Raising Madi in church seemed like a great idea. Any thoughts on a church babe? We received this flyer yesterday. Rock Falls Church, it’s just two miles from us and it’s a contemporary style church. I’m in baby. Find out what time we should be there and we’ll go. 11:00 am sweets. Casual dress. Benny couldn’t wait.
Changes were coming. Many. Benny embraced positive change, he always had. Their lives had a cadence to them. They were a family that went to church regularly, They were active in their community, and they took a mini vacation every month. Life was good. It couldn’t get better than this.
It Gets Better Than This:
Benny will never forget the day he walked in the door and Pam had a frightened look on her face. Baby, are you ok? Is something wrong? I have something to tell you and how you feel about it will decide if something is wrong. Pam, spill it. You can always say anything to me, you know that. I’m pregnant, she blurted out. Benny was fired up, he wanted another child, this was perfect. He would be his last child. She saw the excitement in his eyes, she smiled and said, I knew you would be happy. Like he says all the time, changes are coming and these kinds of changes were amazing.
Life In Motion:
Ben Jr came on the scene and gave them another love of their lives. He was amazing. As the years flew by, they found that he was so smart. He just figured things out. His mind worked like Benny’s and he looked like a mini Benny. Scouting would become a big part of the family. Madi would grow up and become a Gold Scout, Ben would achieve his Eagle Scout award. They raised two wonderful humans. Two responsible, smart, active people. They didn’t raise children, they raised adults. Pam and Benny did well by them.
Trouble Brewing:
They enjoyed a great lifestyle. Benny had become comfortable with others running his store, it had grown to the point that he was looking for a second location. Years ago he converted the part of his home he lived in, into an upper showroom, Ebay, and online sales rose every year. Crazy growth and it seemed the music would never end. But as they say, all good things must come to an end. He just never thought theirs would. Times they were changing. Not good change, the bad kind. After an assessment and some forensic accounting, Benny was done. His employees became addicted to meth and stole everything he had. In the end they lost everything. Their homes, properties, and social standing. Most will understand that last one. The only thing left to do was to file for bankruptcy relief. They were left with nothing. They had to move into a rental house, everything had changed. They were changing. Their relationship was changing. She looked at him differently.
Moving On:
It was over. Every dream, every great night, event, vacation, and anniversary. They were done. He just couldn’t make a comeback. Making a living always came easy for him in the past. Today, he wasn’t capable. Today he was alone. Pam had to go back to work, she worked three jobs. She barely got by. Benny rented a bedroom in a stranger’s home. And even then, he barely made it. He was miserable. What does a man do that no longer has a clue what to do next. He could barely make enough to eat. He began shrinking his life so that he owed less. He became a minimalist. Still, he was broken and broke. He needed to make a living. He’d tried everything. He applied for many jobs before his marriage fell apart. None wanted a has been or a used to be broken man. A man who use to be something. He was a shell of that man. How could he go from where he was to where he is? The solution doesn’t manifest itself. Every day is Groundhog Day, all the same.
The Past Is The Future Again:
Benny woke up early and headed to a nearby lake. He needed to make a decision, it could be the most important of his life. Money was gone and none was coming in at any future date. He was looking at being homeless. The thought was awful. The only asset he had was his old truck. Would that now be his home? He met a guy that knew his history, he gave him a number of a guy, a biker. There was a fight club that was involved in gambling. It was run by a biker club. Underground, illegal fighting. It had been many years. Could he still survive in the ring? He made the call. The man on the other end of the phone said he’d meet with him. The first fight is free my man. That will be your resume. If you can fight, you’ll get $1000.00 per fight if you are good. He gave Benny a place and time. No phones or recording devices. Benny already knew that.
Out Of Retirement:
Saturday night, a warehouse, and a bunch of drunks. Benny showed up and checked in. Tonight would be free and tonight will tell him if I still had what it took. Uncertainty had never been his companion before. But there he was, big grin and all. A guy knocked on the door. You’re up. Benny came out and walked towards the circle of people. His opponent was already there and waiting. He was a bit bigger and a lot younger than him. Benny was just a middle aged man in a young man’s game. He began to taunt Benny. For some reason him telling Benny what he was going to do to him made Benny smile. He could not stop smiling. Ding! They moved towards one another, he swung a right at Benny, he stepped back, he hit nothing. He was angry and losing control. Benny used an old trick, he kicked forward into the front of his hip, predictably, he grabbed Benny’s leg, Benny pulled his leg in and struck his mastoid with a hard right. He was asleep. I still have it, Benny thought to himself. It felt like old times.
Becoming Thunder:
The fight game was going well. Benny was slower and older, so he got hurt, but he continued winning. He won easily, although he was slower, the science remained the same. The money was good. $1000.00 every Saturday night in cash. He could live well on that. It wasn’t a permanent solution. But money to live indoors and eating every day was the goal at the moment. Because the fights were illegal, no one used their real names. They use nicknames and the biker in charge picked them. Benny’s handle was, Thunder. This because he was slow but powerful. All thunder no lightning. Benny liked it and thought it was an honest handle. He won every fight. It didn’t take long to go through their best and beat them all. Gambling on Thunder’s fights began to change. Instead of betting on Benny or the other guy, they bet on how long the fight would last before his opponent was out. The music wasn’t great this time, but he didn’t want it to end anytime soon.
The Event:
It was a beautiful Saturday. Benny visited a gym in Atlanta. It was inner city and seedy. But he liked it. He always felt it gave him an edge. He had a light workout that day because it was fight night. He showered, packed up and headed outside. He had to park a block away on the street. Walking through gang territory was never a good idea. A handgun doesn’t care how much you trained. He was walking down the street past an ally. Motions made him look. There were 7 guys kicking what looked like a couple of cops. Benny approached, the officers were hurt badly and they weren’t stopping. Benny was running now, He made to the guy holding a gun kicking the male officer, Benny hit him hard, he fired a shot that sunk into Benny’s right thigh. He stepped back and instantly threw a left hook and what might have been the hardest right uppercut he ever delivered. He hit the ground and his gun slid towards the others. Another guy was picking it up so Benny moved as quickly as he could towards him to take him out, he fired a shot into his stomach, it burned but he knew he had to move. He shattered his face, he was out, then Benny methodically began taking out the ones that didn’t run. The gang on the ground and Benny getting foggy.
He grabbed the female officer and threw her over his shoulder and dragged the male officer at the same time. He leaned him against the front tire of their cruiser and laid her on the hood. She was waking up. Benny asked if she could hear him, yes I can she said. He placed the gun in her hand and told her to radio for help. He could barely stand or even lean. I’m done sweetie, he said. Protect yourself. Benny remembered nothing after that.
Almost… :
Waking up in the hospital dazed and confused. His first words. Are the officers ok? The nurse was startled. You’re awake! It turns out he was in a coma for over a week. No one expected him to survive. He felt so weak. His room was full of cards, balloons and well wishes of all types. The doctor came in and asked how he felt. Lost, that was all he could think of to say. How am I doc? Well, I’ll know more in a couple of days. Benny wasn’t patient at all. And he was ready to go home. The next two days dragged on. He waited but was ready to go home. He had to get out of here. He almost died, but he was asleep the whole time. Processing was needed, but he will do that alone. He heals quicker than most. Maybe it’s the steroids he still takes, maybe it’s genetics. Maybe it’s both.
Another week in the hospital was brutal. He hates hospitals and he likes to do for himself. When the doc came in and asked if there was anyone home to take care of him, I’ll be home and will take care of myself, was all he could say. His doctor stared at him for a long minute. Ok, you will be out of here shortly. But your life has changed. I’ll let you figure out how on your own.
The Story:
Youtube is an amazing thing. It turns out a couple of people watched Benny fighting and getting shot twice. They filmed it on their phones and it went viral. He was now, internet famous and a lot of people now knew Benny. They didn’t know the whole story. Calls flooded in. Everyone wanted to interview him. Before he did anything, he had to process what had happened to him. People inhibit that process. Days went by and thoughts of what really happened. He found himself talking with God. He began praying again, he was a prayer warrior back in the day. God did something here. He had to know what. His processing took a turn.
God’s Preparation:
Prayer. It’s a direct connection with God. Seeking Him is seeking His purpose for your life. Benny’s purpose was to be prepared to save those officers. He’ll probably never know why. God really does work in unusual ways. Looking back on his life, he could see how He prepared him for that day.
He prepared him for this.
Benny’s Recap:
He had me train as a boxer as a 16 year old lost kid. He instilled the tenacity that even after being shot I kept going.
He made me fearless when He sent me traveling the nation fighting strangers in strange places.
He made me fierce by having me make myself feel invincible.
He taught me to love by giving me Pam and my kids.
He taught me how unimportant I am by breaking me financially.
He taught me to value others by allowing me to unconditionally love my family.
He reminded me I was a warrior by allowing me to fight and win again.
He prepared my heart to give my life away when I lost my family.
Benny wrote; I had my story. It was the story God wrote for me. It was God preparing me for His use. This was my story and this story will be told. Of all the offers for an interview. My old pastor called to check on me. After I told him my story he was quiet for a moment. Would you consider telling your story on Sunday at Rock Falls? That wasn’t what I expected. If God is in this then where I grew with God seemed a good choice. Yes, I’ll be there.
Restoration:
Walking into Rock Falls Church seemed like old times. I hadn’t been here in years. It was by all definitions, a mega church. But very personal. They did it right. People didn’t get lost here. I went straight to Pastor Dan’s office. It was so good to see him again. You ready for this Benny? As ready as I’ll ever be. The music ended and Dan walked on stage. He spoke for a moment and said, I have a very special guest today. Some of you will remember him, most of you have seen a video of him saving two Atlanta police officers. The sound level rose. Give a warm welcome to Benny. The entire church stood and clapped. I stood watching them. How humbling it was. Dan and I sat on stools and he asked me questions. My story of how God prepared me for that one moment. How decades of preparation prepared me for less than one minute of use. How I prepared even through loss. Especially the loss of my family.
Pastor Dan began talking about God’s timing and God’s redeeming love. He then looked at me and asked the big question. How can I pray for you? Dan, I wasn’t expecting this question. I’d never really thought about it. What does my heart want? I lost my wife and I lost my kids. I began crying, hardly able to talk at all. God please restore my life. I fell to my knees. Dan knelt with me, the church was so quiet.
Daddy…
I turned to see my Madi standing to my left
My son Ben, my Eagle Scout stood beside her
You could hear a pin drop
Pam stood up. Through her tears she spoke. We love you Benny, come home…
Pastor Dan motioned for my family to make their way to the stage. They came up and all we all could do was cry and hold one another.
I looked at Dan and said I’m sorry to take so much time.
He was gracious.
If all we do today is watch you guys love on each other, it was a good day at church.
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This is a story of God’s unconditional love. How He uses our actions, even our mistakes to prepare us for our purpose He has for us. This is also the story of how He restores us out of the love He feels for us.
