Single Again… Dating Chaos

By Kenneth Stepp

Do you have one of those friends who has a life full of chaos? I think as a single person in the dating arena, I do. I’ve even been one. The life of a “dater” is full of chaos. It doesn’t seem to matter if we are completely sane or bats%#@! Crazy. Chaos is always there, sitting next to us quietly, just waiting to go off like a box full of tightly wound springs. Somedays, it seems inevitable. While we all want to believe this isn’t true of ourselves.

Well, life has a way of showing us we are all susceptible the same things as we move forward in our search to find our soulmate. I want to believe I have enough wisdom not to fall prey to such things, then, all of the sudden, there I am, removing yet another potential forever candidate. Why does it have to be so hard? Perhaps we are all just humans in different places at the same time…

Two people. Two wonderful people. Two wonderful but very different people. Chaos comes from our differences. As long as there are two people with different backgrounds and life experiences. There will be chaos in their lives. Our experiences mold us. If I lived in a home with very short ceilings and bumped my head moving from one room to the other. After a couple of times getting hit in my head, I’d learn to duck.

Some would see it coming and never bump their head. Some would learn after a few times, and still others… Well, just keep an ice pack ready for them when they visit. We all have friends who never learn, don’t we? And some of us are those friends. Now we have learned where some of the chaos comes from. For me, learning not to bump my head would only come after pain. I learn from being hurt. And I’m not alone.

Dating isn’t the only arena in life we can find chaos. When you are at work today, watch your coworkers. Their previous lives direct or affect their behavior today. If they have led a chaotic life and are put in a position of leadership, odds are, their team will have more ups and downs than other teams. Human nature only changes with one thing. Love. And it’s doubtful your boss will love you. So where will we find love?

As a philosopher, my heart leaped just writing that question. We date. We sign up for an online dating service, or depend on social media to find our soulmate. Most of us have done both and even more. Finding love is tricky. The odds on two people loving one another unconditionally is astronomical. Yet we all hope for it. I have always hoped. Loving another and being loved back. I could write all day about it, and probably have before.

Out of chaos comes inspiration. Out of inspiration comes vision. And out of vision comes attraction. So my search really began with inspiration. Chaos was already my sidekick, I knew it well. So I was inspired, my inspiration led me down many interesting roads. I met many interesting and amazing people because of it. I was once inspired to explore things in me that I didn’t know existed. Maybe that’s why man had to visit the moon or send a robot to Mars and beyond.

Quite a few years ago my inspiration led me to meet a girl. A very special girl. Over time we became very close friends. One day we were lovers. One day we were in love. One day she became home to me. Chaos changed to inspiration. Inspiration one day changed to love. Maybe our goal should be to inspire. Maybe what inspires us should define us. Love can only come if we allow it to. What inspires you?

“Our soulmate will not just appear in our life, they will grow there” – Kenneth Stepp