Single Again… The Edge of Forever

By Kenneth Stepp

Interesting title. What it means or what I am trying to write about is when we feel we might be close to finding forever love. For most of us, this has been the goal since becoming single again. Whether your spouse passed away or divorce entered your life, alone happens and can hit us very hard. It’s why finding someone to spend the rest of our lives with is so important. Ok, it’s one of the reasons. 

I have written about my singles journey for almost 8 years. I met a girl right out of the gate and fell hard. I’m told this was, “the rebound relationship”. It makes sense. You are in a bad marriage or long term relationship, and it’s cold, dry, and lonely. Then you meet someone who loves being with you, desires you, and looks at you in a way no one has in years. It can be intoxicating.

So, after that relationship crashed and burned, I was hurting. I began my writing career right away and here I am, still pecking away at these keys and pouring my heart out to you. I think most of us have false starts. We meet people we feel we love, but they’re not a match. Then we meet people who are a smart match but we aren’t in love. The conundrum lives here.

I have been in this position more than once. Each one actually. I love but we don’t fit, we fit but I don’t or can’t love. Both can be a mess and usually are. If things don’t work out I always want to keep the friendship. It can’t be done every time but can if both want it. I make a very good friend and hate losing great people from my life. 

For years I thought I had to choose between a great love or a great match. Settling seemed to be my destiny. I’ve watched others do it and they seemed to be happy. I’ve gotten close to doing it but it just didn’t feel right. It is my belief that we can have both. I will always believe that. Or at least hope I will. 

As the years click by and the years are stacked one upon the other, I feel the need to be partnered more and more. The old cliche, “we aren’t getting any younger”, plays in my head at times, almost like a battle cry. But while I am aging and yes, I feel the years at times, I also feel vibrant and young. Not sure how those thoughts live in harmony in my head, but they do.

So what is the edge of forever about? It’s when we meet that special someone. For me, she’s both my match and my greatest love. These two things have never existed in one person in my life. The edge of forever for me is when a very quiet voice is screaming inside me, it’s her, it’s her. That voice was silent all this time. Lately in the chaos of my thoughts, I hear it in the background, it’s her…

Allow yourself to love again. Be open to the kindness of others, Real people are kind. Fake people manipulate with what appears to be kindness. Learn the difference between the two. I believe time will always tell. If you see potential, let them in slowly. If you’re lucky enough to find yourself on the edge of forever, then enjoy the view until enough time has passed to know if it’s real.  Love can neither be rushed or denied. 


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