By Kenneth Stepp
As most of my readers know, I study and experience so much on my singles journey. And I have to write about them as they come. I’ve heard stories that make me want to apologize for my entire gender, but the one I will talk about today is particularly disturbing in my view. And it seems to be a trend, one that needs to cease immediately. Men are supposed to be valiant and brave. Me are suppose to be honest, respectful, and gentlemen. What in the world has happened? In a world that is far too unkind. People are treating others as if they are temporary, especially after convincing them they would be permanent fixtures in their lives. It’s a sad reality of a world gone cold.
When I first became single again, I met a girl, I fell hard for her, she told me about her last boyfriend. They dated four years. One day he sent her a text saying that he, “wants to see other girls”… What? He somehow convinced this beautiful woman to invest years and many emotions into a life with him and he ends it with a text? I was stunned. My dad taught me to be a man. I hadn’t thought about this Neanderthal for years, but have heard stories of those like him. Today, I was reminded that this cowardly tribe is still in the heartbreaking business and business is still booming. Today, it happened to a friend I care deeply for. Today. Well, she was reminded she was a temporary person by a man that told her he loved her.
For the last month I have gotten to know this girl and we have become friends. As she told me of her boyfriend, her eyes sparkled. He’s been very busy lately, I haven’t seen him for a couple of weeks, he use to send me a “song of the day”, those have stopped. I admit that I looked him up. Successful, smart, and well traveled. I assured her that a smart man would never let her get away, today I found out I was wrong. He really wasn’t smart at all. She received a text from this coward this morning. His life is too busy to have a relationship… Really? Is this a game? Was she just being punked? You love her! Love doesn’t do that and real men do not act that way.
She feels like a temporary person this morning. But like all mornings, she will put on her happy face and go to work. She will be responsible even though this half man wasn’t. People depend on her. She depended on him. Her world is shattered this morning. Her walls will go back up and for a period of time she will relax and heal behind them, he will move on to his next victim. He will convince her of all the things he convinced my friend of. He might even profess his undying love to her as well. Why not? It feels good to say it, and it costs him nothing. To him, at least. But somewhere in the universe lurks time, karma, and life. All of which are waiting to remind him how unspecial he is and how badly his game of musical chairs with people’s lives hurts. In the meantime another permanent human being is feeling temporary. Someone of great value is feeling tossed aside like an old food wrapper, someone who deserved love, feels lost.
Life is temporary. A life, meaning me, you, us, etc. We are all permanent. There aren’t really any temporary people, only people who treat people that way. Don’t let them convince you otherwise. You were created for better things, for great things actually. And just because someone doesn’t see that in you, doesn’t decrease your worth at all. It just proves he doesn’t have the emotional maturity to see it. His loss, not hers. Finding amazing and treating it like it isn’t important doesn’t lessen the amazing one iota. It just means he’s blind, self absorbed, and not serious about he wants.
Guys. Remember what the generation before us left us. Be kind, respectful, and mindful of her feelings. Be a man, a real man. Matters of the heart are an opportunity to prove what kind of man you are. Stand up. She may not be important to you. But she is important. She may not be special to you. But she is special. She may have been temporary in your life. But she is permanent in real life. Use stuff, love people. What a great rule in life to live by.
“She made broken look beautiful
and strong look invincible.
She walked with the Universe
on her shoulders and made it
look like a pair of wings.”
― Ariana Dancu