Single Again… She’s Perfect

By: Kenneth Stepp

Perfect….. No such thing. These are the words that came to mind when I heard them. Not so anymore. There is such a thing as being perfect. The perfection I speak of is in perception. Being perceived as perfect. When speaking with a group, this is where I lose them for a moment. I have to unwrap it, then they get it. Well, some do. To explain. I will wax poetic. Stick with me.

“Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I’d like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you. You can’t disappoint me” Mary Haskell

To me, this explains how to be with your perfect partner. Don’t expect your family and friends to understand. Your soulmate isn’t perfect to anyone but you. And, you aren’t perfect to anyone but your soulmate. This is when unconditional love exists for one another. I have experienced this before. The longest was my wife, after 24 years together, she was still my dream girl, my arm piece, I was always so proud of her. I reminded her of her beauty often.

When we met she had body image issues. I couldn’t understand why. I fell fast and hard. To me, she was perfect. Perfect to me of course. Next was my rebound relationship, the first girl I met after becoming single. Perfect for me again. Every single thing about her. She was my fantasy girl. Since love has been my main topic to write on for some time, I find myself engaging in many conversations with single’s about love and love lives in general.

I believe people were created to love unconditionally. This, I believe is the only REAL love. The meaning has been diluted a lot. I love food, I love the beach, I “loved” them. There is no “loved”, or pas-tense where real love is concerned. Real love is forever. Most think themselves to be in and out of love many times, unconditional love is not something we have one day and its gone the next, it really is forever and unlimited. What most call love is something very different from the real thing.

Sadly, I believe most no longer have the capability to really love at all. All think they do, most cannot. And this is where trouble begins. People are hurt and lying in the dust wondering what hit them. Limitless, without merit, without limits, love sees no faults, no weight, scars, etc. Love sees perfection. Show me two people like this that found one another and I will show you soulmates. Real ones. I pondered over the soulmate phenomenon for months.

I am a studier. I have severe ADD, which generally brings two things to the table. A high IQ and the ability to hyper focus on any subject. I talk about this a lot. It’s awesome. If there is a subject I want to learn, I study it for several hours per day. The soulmate thing is always in my cross-hairs. First, I searched scientific and scholarly studies. These are my tried and true backups. Nothing worth my time there, and I went through a ton of them. Then I studied the spiritual arena. This is where I discovered my now staunch belief. Why? Because I experienced it myself. Only once was it returned to me. I blew that one, long story. Too long to go into here.

This is the love I want. I believe two things. She exists and I am capable. Or, at least I am becoming capable again. Healing, so to speak. Perfect is in your heart. Perfect for you is what unconditional love brings you. Can you imagine? “Follow your heart”. This tired old saying seems proper here. It’s risky. You will find pain, frustration, and confusion along the way. You will feel foolish. Is it worth it? Only you can make that call. My forever love is worth it. For me, I stand on a mountain edge looking out over the valley below. The view is beautiful. I wasn’t created to enjoy the view. The valley calls me. To have what I have searched for requires the illogical act of trying to fly, and fly I must. I am ready, knowing only love can land me safely. Will love save me? I’ll know when I land…

“When love knocks, you have a choice. Somewhere in that choice is the future of you. Remember that…” – Kenneth Stepp