By Kenneth Stepp
How is your imagination? Close your eyes and think of all the people you’ve met as a single person searching for forever. I have many who were amazing. Yet for some reason we didn’t click, stick, or gel. Imagine meeting them again today. You are a different person today than back then, they are as well. Imagine timing was the issue then but not now, imagine the place you were in or they were in had changed, imagine we met again, imagine our timing was right and situations had changed. Imagine…
Imagine we finally knew this was right, imagine we did click, stick, and gelled. Can you? My journey to her has been remarkable. I can’t say that it was never a dull moment, I’ve had many of those, but it has been interesting. Most of my friends know that I love all things interesting, and this journey is very interesting.
Being single has its moments, memorable moments. I have learned so much about the human condition and how the world has changed since I was young and single. Mostly I have learned a lot about myself. I use to get excited about taking risks, now I am more guarded. I use to plan more, now I take a day at a time and see what plays out. Things and people do change.
As I think of what these years of being single has taught me, what stands out is that everyone has issues, everyone has been hurt, and everyone is more self centered than when they began. Recognizing this last one made me change my perspective on how I’ll do this journey. When I meet another broken human being I want to leave them better than I found them. My father taught me that.
I have dated several incredible girls in the 6 ½ years I’ve been single. Some if not all were in a place of transition. Looking back I suppose I was as well. So it got me thinking about what would happen if we meet again. Like the first time, only with experience. We are both such different people than we were back then. We evolved and we became. What we became was a choice.
I think of these scenarios all the time. Perhaps I think too much or maybe my thoughts have merit. I am attracted to quality people. I believe all people are equally valuable, because I believe God created them for a purpose, His purpose. But quality to me means something very personal. If I meet someone I believe is a quality person, it means they cause my life to have more value. I love having them in my life.
Today I am thinking both forward and backwards. I am thinking about those in my past fitting in my future. Have you ever had these thoughts? My wants and needs have changed, so have hers. My desires are different too. I seek safety, permanent, and a true friendship that all others would pale to compete with. A shared life, one that would be the envy of all who watched us do life together.
To all of my single friends on this journey with me, I want to give you some advice. When you meet someone and it’s not a connection, don’t block them, don’t delete their number, don’t remove all the future possibilities on a day where you cannot know the future. I have reached out to say happy birthday or how have you been in a text a few times only to receive a text back asking, “Who is this?” Any hope of even a friendship is gone at that point.
This is just one example. I try to never burn a bridge because they are all two lane roads. Think back, have you ever met someone and been excited but you never connected again. It’s happens to all of us. Time has a way of doing magical things to our hearts, let it.
Imagine we fell this time…