Single Again… Discipline Or Die

By Kenneth Stepp

If I am not disciplined, I over _____  (fill in blank). Ok, the “or die” in my title is me being hyperbolic. I’m up early, talking about being single again. Lately I have been thinking about being disciplined. You see, as a single man, I am not accountable for my actions behind closed doors. And a lot of action can happen behind closed doors these days.

Too much of anything will be too much. I’ll give some practical examples from my life. One is that I will not have an adult drink before 6:00 pm. If I am out and driving, I will not drink at all. Another is that just because a girl wants to be intimate, well, that’s flattering, but it doesn’t mean I will. I have a bedtime. Unless I am out with friends, I’m in bed by that time. Another would be diet. I keep track of my health. If I find I have gained or something is off, I correct it with diet not medication.

These are just a few examples from my life. They make sense to me and keep me on a path of sanity and health. I have these because I have experienced failures in these areas when I first became single almost 8 years ago. What I have found is that my single friends were in long term relationships that failed or their spouse died and they were not ready for what being single had become. 

The new singles journey is very different from the one I remember. Today, there is an epidemic of overindulgence. People want so they have, desire so they act, and are depressed so they treat it with food, sex, and medications instead of dealing with the things life throws at us, they cover it with unnatural things. Some really need the meds, I get that. But there is an over the top use these days. 

Normal… What does that word mean to you? My normal will look different than yours. My normal probably looks a lot like my old one. My wife, family, tradition, and knowing what the future holds. We can plan a vacation 6 months out and actually go together. Normal means so many things to us today. To wish for normal means we wish for more than we have. Or at least different.

To be satisfied… So, how does that look in your head? For me, it’s layered. There are big and small things about being satisfied. A meal that was perfect, a partner that makes you feel whole, an experience that leaves you breathless. Those are momentary things. A home that feels like home, finding your person and it lasts and lasts, knowing you are on the right track financially to retire. These are things that hold our future intact. 

There’s a glimpse into my life. My goals, my dreams, and maybe even my truth that guides my path. We should all have one. I’ve been handed one life here on Earth. What I do with it is up to me. I cannot change any mistake I made in the past. I can only correct my drift and be the best I can be for the time I have left. I’m guessing most of us have had these thoughts and many developed self accountability the way I have. If you haven’t, take 90 days and try it. Anyone can do anything for 90 days. Just my opinion. 90 days to a new life…

Good luck with your future. I hope everyone on this crazy journey finds a way to make their today, better than it was yesterday. That’s the goal. Every sunrise brings new second chances. A new day can bring a new life. We are all only a decision away. 

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