By Kenneth Stepp
You’re amazing… I’ve met amazing before and that description fits wonderfully. Amazing should be her middle name. Amazing is more than one person, but one person at a time is how I will unwrap what amazing is to me. You see, becoming single after 24 years of marriage has found me in a sea of amazing people. Their all struggling with things, stuff, and issues. Everyone of them are, some have struggled so hard for so long, it now feels normal.
One of my best friend, I met her about 5 years ago. She runs a farm full of animals, goes to school, and works as a nurse full time. Is that struggling? I’ve watched her close up and from a distance. I watched her going through nursing school and still be so busy with live that it left a permanent impression on me. She was a single mom and fought for everything she ever had or accomplished. She has shown a level of work ethic and integrity that would wow anyone. She’s now my medical power of attorney. I literally trust her with my life. Why? Because she’s amazing.
I have another friend that is amazing too. She, like the one I mentioned before, is a nurse. A single mom who received no help from her kids father, struggled as hard as anyone I’ve seen. I’m guessing I’ve known her about 3 or 4 years. I feel like it’s forever. I’ve watched her go through the hardest times, from working and going to school to become a nurse, to being homeless with her children. We’ve forged a forever friendship that I hope and believe will last all our lives. Another amazing human I am proud to know.
I’ve met many more along the way. The things they have in common are incredible too. Most are single moms, many were stay at home moms when they were widowed or divorced, alone with children to raise and no job skills or very old ones. I’ve learned, since becoming single, that women are natural survivors. It doesn’t mean they don’t get tired, come close to giving up, or cry themselves to sleep at night. It means they stand and deal with what life throws at them. If you’re a single man and meet one of these amazing creatures, remember this and show them the respect they’ve earned.
I’m single, so most of my friends are, in fact, women. Since I write about being single in my column and my books, we talk a lot about being single. Those conversations fly all over the place. Most have lived through financial distress. Going from a two income family to a one, can be very difficult, your entire life has to change. Most, if they have dated much at all, have horrific dating stories. Some guys take being a jerk to great heights. I’ve heard all about the controlling, angry, manipulative, drunks, dugged, and abusive guys they have met along the way. If a fraction of these things happened to me, I’d probably give up. But I’m a guy, women don’t give up.
I’m sitting at home today, working, writing, and I suppose, musing a little. I’m thinking about the wonderful humans this journey has allowed me to meet and get to know. To hear the stories of their struggles and their triumphs. Many have found forever love, most are still swimming in this big ocean of unattached people. Mostly today, my thoughts are on the girls I’ve met. As a guy, I can only look at their journey, I can’t know what it’s like to be them.
Gender makes dating different. I’ve never thought about someone hurting me physically when I met them. Girls have to think about that. I work for myself so I don’t have to try to move ahead with an employer. All of these ideas scrambled inside of my brain makes me know that I have this article titled correctly. Those I’ve come to know, they really are amazing…
“She made broken look beautiful
and strong look invincible.
She walked with the Universe
on her shoulders and made it
look like a pair of wings.”
― Ariana Dancu