By Kenneth Stepp
I woke up from a dream a few days ago. My dream was the same dream I’ve had many times. I’m lying in bed, her head is on my chest, my arm is around her and we are simply talking in the dark. This is my dream. I own it and when I have it, I feel like I am home. One day the light will be on and I will know who she is. One day…
“Don’t you find it odd,” she continued, “that when you’re a kid, everyone, all the world, encourages you to follow your dreams. But when you’re older, somehow they act offended if you even try.” ― Ethan Hawke
One thing I recall from my 24 years with my ex wife was that if we disagreed on something she would almost always say “I’ve spoken to my friends about this and this is what they said”. I’m uncertain she ever understood I didn’t care about what her friends thought. She and I were the ones living our lives. These friends, while probably well meaning, didn’t know us as well as we did nor would they have to live with the consequences of a decision between the two of us. What I learned from these many encounters was that people will stifle our dreams and ambitions if we allow them to. Good people, but people without skin in our game.
For me it’s easy or natural for me to care about pretty much everyone I meet. I withhold comments about the journeys they are on because I’m simply not on them with them. Instead I will encourage, lend a hand, and help in any way I can. I have been through things some have not, just like some have been through things that I haven’t. And yes, I can listen as well. Some people just need a sounding board, I get that. Establishing boundaries to keep advice and intentions away from our journey to find our forever love, is as essential to us as knowing them when we meet them. For me, I am the only person qualified to recognise her. No one else has lived my life up to this time. Only me. I listen to friends, I encourage you to have real friends in your life. But you and only you really know you. You have a dream. It’s your dream alone. Remember that.
“It is better to experience a moment of discomfort in the achievement of your dreams than to be comfortable without accomplishing your dreams.” ― Lailah Gifty Akita
I love this quote. Discomfort will always be a side effect of making hard decisions. You know, the ones with consequences both good and bad. If we are ever to reach our goal, then be prepared for hurt, damage, and confusion. They will be there. But if you are like me, finding my forever will be worth it. Imagine waking up with your soulmate every morning. What are we willing to endure to get to that picture? I’ve already endured more than I ever thought I could. And although putting my life on pause when I feel overwhelmed is part of my strategy. I am willing to endure so much more to get there, almost anything. The thought of living out the rest of my life with that person is all the incentive I need. My dream is her. Who is your dream?
“People who lack the clarity, courage, or determination to follow their own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours. Live your truth and don’t EVER stop!”
― Steve Maraboli
Allowing others to discourage our dream happens far more than we might think. It seems when enough people say the same thing we begin to weaken. We forget what that picture looked like inside our head and heart. In my dream I can’t make out her face or features. I just know she will always be there for me and I for her. She will be my dream girl, my soulmate, and I will always stand by her, I will always have her back. Can you see your life this way? I can. I’m betting most people searching for their forever love can. Don’t let others steal your dream. It’s your dream. Hold it close until you are holding them close.
“You can get what you want or you can just get old.” ― Billy Joel
Billy Joel gets it. Do you?