By Kenneth Stepp
Dating… It is described in so many different ways these days. Some good things and some bad things are said of it. Some things are for sure. It isn’t easy, it isn’t always fun, and it can be very confusing. For that reason, I take breaks away from it. I think it’s healthy to do this. I see things I couldn’t see while vying for position in this game of romance. Perspective is everything. It’s why, when things get too fast, too confusing, or too out there. I stop. I simply take a break from dating. I have friends to hang out with and plenty of things to do with my time. As a small business owner I always have something I can be doing.
“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy” – Guillaume Apollinaire
Taking time for me. What a concept. It’s a new phenomenon in my world that I just started doing since becoming single again. When do we know when time away from dated is needed? It’s different for everyone. For me, it’s when I become numb. I am an emotional creature. I feel and sense way too much at times. At the moment I feel nothing. It’s as if my emotional being has been turned off. I always wonder when I have something new happen, if others feel it too. Have you? Getting knocked down a few times is where it came from. I suppose it’s a defense mechanism of sorts. I know we all have them. Right now I’m safe behind a very tall wall. Nothing or nobody will ever see the top of it. This means it’s time for me. Time for me to self discover. Hopefully to become a better man. Taking things slow and alone is in order.
“Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause” – Bruce Feiler
I’m guessing we all get tired. If I haven’t found it myself, I’ve heard stories from friends about people they have encountered along the way. Dating isn’t easy at all. There do not seem to be any rules at all. From, if it feels good do it, to I don’t kiss till the third date. It’s all different. Liars, con artists, sociopaths, people looking for someone to take care of them, desperate people, loathsome people, insane people, obsessive people, and those just wanting to have fun. These encounters steal your energy, they cloud your judgement, and they devour your trust. They make me cynical. One day you think you have met a potential partner. Someone who shares your values, likes many of the things you like, and you have chemistry with. Then…. Nothing. Or worse, they begin showing signs of one or more of the awful list I just spoke of. Yep, cynical.
“Sometimes you need to press pause to let everything sink in”
– Sebastian Vettel
I’m a positive person. But being positive right now is difficult. I’m experiencing something new. I’m certain that like everything else, it will pass and the old me will show up and be all smiles again. When, no idea. But I know me. And no matter what comes at me, I’m still me. I’m still that guy. I’m a great friend, am dependable, thoughtful, and above all. I care about just about everyone I meet. So I’m going to enjoy some me time, explore what this new “thing” is, and learn how to turn it into something that changes me for the better. None of us know what tomorrow holds. Heck, we don’t know if we will have tomorrow. My goal, should God allow me another tomorrow, is to be a better person than I was today. Jumping off the roller coaster is the only way I have a chance of that. But hey. While I’m gone, you guys enjoy the ride…
“To have God speak to the heart is a majestic experience, an experience that people may miss if they monopolize the conversation and never pause to hear God’s responses”
– Charles Stanley