By Kenneth Stepp
First, a little about me. I am a provider protector, a caretaker in the most natural sense of the word. If I care deeply about someone, the sky’s the limit. My dear roommate enjoys and I’m sure, endures, my hovering over her.
Today I find myself in the sunshine state, Florida. I have a very close friend who’s mom and aunt have Alzheimer’s disease. I came down with her to see if we could find a solution to the problem. You see, they live together and alone. The picture isn’t pretty.
As she is encamped with them, I am in a hotel room and swimming in my own thoughts. Many of you know I speak of a girl, or woman if I must call her that. I talk about her traits, I say many things about her and say them often. It’s as if I know her. Actually, I feel I do and knowing so much about her, I know I already love her. This is where the problem begins.
Problem? Yep. It suddenly hit me that my girl is alone out there. She’s meeting the same creeps and users my friend tell me they meet. She’s had her heart broken, trust shattered, and time wasted. Not only that, but she is probably going to continue these things till we meet or we perish. In short, no one is taking care of the side of her, a man supposed to stand beside.
As my thoughts drift back to my friend’s mom and aunt, it hits me. She may one day go through that too, or something worse. I’m not sure what could be worse than a disease that leaves our body intact and our mind void and paranoid. I’m open to there being something worse but my mind cannot understand what that would be.
As I sit alone in my hotel room, I feel I must get to her. The thought of her going through anything like this leaves me panicked. Our minds are amazing devices. We were created to do great things in great ways. As a person that knows I am a partner in waiting, I now feel I need to push through whatever I must to get to her.
I am no longer a knight in shining armor, nor am I the warrior I used to be back when I fought professionally. But I am still a protector provider, my DNA has always been that man. How can I think of her in such tangible terms? I know her, so much about her. I’m told I am in love with a myth. Maybe I am and maybe I’ll die alone. But if there is even a chance she’s real, I will find her and I will protect her from the barbs this world hurls at her.
This encounter with such sweet broken ladies will leave a mark on my heart. Their daughter is my good friend and confidant. She still calls her mother, mommy. It’s endearing and touching. You see, these beautiful ladies are loved but from a distance.
Love has the capacity to cause us to do what must be done. Today, I am reminded of the movie, The Notebook. That movie is the perfect picture of how love should end. It is my belief, or the romantic in me believes, that we will find one another. When we do, we will weather all storms side by side. She may lose her physical abilities and even her mind, but she will never lose me. My job is to stand with her, even when she can no longer stand.
#comefindme
