Single Again… Peace

By Kenneth Stepp


Peace… What does that look like to you? I have lived what most describe as an exciting life, full of many adventures. When I was a young man, I craved excitement more than anything. Today, I just want peace in my life. Don’t get me wrong. I still love excitement. But peace, or the pursuit of it has taken the front seat. Just a peaceful existence. It sounds too simple doesn’t it? I’m not alone either. I believe being on this dating journey has taught me this. I talk with my fellow travelers. The list of things out of sync in their lives and my own is exhausting to think about. From kids acting out, stalkers, craziness, unrequited love, to finances. All of these are common issues for singles. But the list of things that are stealing our peace is an even longer one.


Most of us have a picture in our head of what life should look like. I know of very few who live that picture. I know I do not. I tend to be a positive person. But the daily bombardments life throws at me can wear on the positivity I try to muster each day. It’s maddening, but common. I talk to a lot of people. They all have something that steals their peace often. Now, back to that picture of the way things should be. Mine has my forever love in it. We enjoy so many things together. We also have our own lives we live as well. Financially, for example, we are both pulling the cart. We always have our best friend close by. We have an adventure buddy and a constant lover. In short. We are doing life together. The peaceful part of this life is that we are permanent in one another’s lives. We never wonder about each other. We are a team, a team that real love built.


So. What’s the answer to finding peace in this life? It will be different for everyone, I think. But peace, for me at least, has her in it. My partner in crime, I can envision it and do often. I only wish I could see her face so I would know where to focus my energy. Right. If only it would be that easy. Fall asleep and dream of you soulmate. Wake up with their name address and phone number. Yep. That would be cool now wouldn’t it? Imagine showing up at her door. She would think I was insane. Out of nowhere a guy knocks on her door and says, You’re the one! Maybe it’s best I don’t dream all that information up anyway.


Problems. We all have them. Some more than others. Some live an overwhelmed life. Many come in and out of that state. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed. It isn’t fun and certainly will stress a person out completely. Not a great lifestyle. And yes, for some, it becomes a lifestyle. Many actually. I vacillate in and out myself. I seldom know what to do when this happens. So, I process all my thoughts to death. I get alone with my thoughts and stay that way until I understand them, I only wish I could say this worked every time. But more often than not, the bad things that have stolen my peace, have to play out. It’s a hurtful process. For me, peace and love are definitely related though.


“If someone thinks that peace and love are just a cliche that must have been left behind in the 60s, that’s a problem. Peace and love are eternal.” ― John Lennon


Hang in there my friends. Yes. Life is hard. But it has so much potential of becoming amazing. Just over the next hill…


“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

Virginia Woolf


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