Single Again… Old Wounds

By  Kenneth Stepp

 

All of our emotions, futures hopes and dreams, trust without walls, and who we will do life with, forever, are all wrapped up in one person. It’s like floating on a cloud dreaming the day away… Now is the time that you hear the sound of a DJ scratching his way across a vinyl record.

 

I’m not sure I know anyone more interested in love that myself. Bold statement, but to me, it’s a statement of fact. You open your mind, heart, and future dreams to someone you fall in love with, then it doesn’t work out. Where did the love go? Real love lasts forever. It can be painful and confusing. You coast along, meet someone else, fall in love (real love). Now you have 2 people you love, stuck in your head and heart forever. I suggest NEVER finding another at this point. I speak from experience. Of course, I do not mean that at all.

 

A few years ago, I fell in love, harder than ever, but, I’d fallen alone. That on top of what has happened since, leaves a trail of “wanting to give up on love.” If not, the heart, mind, and future hopes, are adrift in a sea of confusion and loneliness.

 

I have no idea why we do this to ourselves. It seems that, once a person is past all this, they become nothing but hookups and near misses. I’m not sure what to think to be honest. It seems taking the path of unconditional love would be the smarter road, but maybe my hookup warriors hurt less, or they seem to. I wish I had the answer. As usual, all I have are more questions.

 

I am in the middle now. Do I go right or do I go left? Someone will no doubt get hurt both ways? Do I turn into one of those creeps that only want one thing, do I continue trying to find love again? Or do I do life totally alone? Something that seemed absurd when I first thought of it. Now, not so much.

 

I’m unpacking from a trip today. Tomorrow I will visit one of my favorite little towns again, it’s called, Little Five Points, really a part of old Atlanta. Don’t ever give up guys. First, I suppose you have to figure out what, not giving up, looks like to you. Live for life’s sake, find your happiness, it is inside of you somewhere, just waiting to cover your wonderful world with happiness.

 

Why am I here today? Old wounds… It seems that some wounds never really heal, they just hang around so long and we figure out how to live with the pain they bring. They also become part of your story. Some rare memories that were wounds at first, become our best friends. Can we love again? Yes, or I believe we can. I’ve dedicated the last few years of my life to this very question. It took many years to learn what real love is, and I want it again. Love is like a drug that once tasted, we must have again.

 

“Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to

wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.”

Wallace Stegner

#comefindme