Single Again… Never Changing

By Kenneth Stepp

Change… Sometimes a good thing, sometimes not so much. But change comes and goes in every life. Some days it’s a relief, others, it’s a wrecking ball. Whether it’s perception or reality, change is real and we are all consistently in some sort of an order of change. Call it evolving, adapting, or any other word you like, they all mean change. It’s as if we are all flying through space holding onto a rocket that is constantly trying to separate into pieces and we are all that is holding the pieces together… Our hands just can’t move fast enough.  Welcome to my mind and the weird way I visualize my words.

Today as I sit on my sofa, laptop waiting on my lap, and brain fully engaged in the question, why is everything always changing? After peeling back that onion for a while I realized why I search so hard for love, real love. I describe this kind of love as the kind poets write about and ballads were created for. Unconditional, totally accepting, and never ending love. Does this love exist? I hope so. I know at one time it did, and there was a time when, just once, I thought I had found it. “Thought” being the key word here.

The love I speak of never changes, we do, the relationships it’s involved in does, but real love is rock solid. This is why I believe we search so diligently for it. Love is out there. I know so many looking for it. To some it’s a methodical search, to a few it’s fate, and to others, it’s as if they are hunting a unicorn. The unicorn is a mythical horse with great powers. And to some, love is a mythical state they want to find themselves in, and like the unicorn, it has great powers. The power to heal, to keep us together, and to make us finally happy. Magical? I don’t believe it really is at all. 

Love is not just feelings, AND love is a lot of feelings. I can see why we get confused when speaking of it. Some say, I love you as easy or with no more meaning than, I love pizza. I want real unending love, I want the love that I know will change not, I want more than platitudes and cliches. I want a rock solid foundation we can build a real lasting relationship on. I change… Man do I change. I have what I call, seasons in my life. One season I am sure I am ready for love and a forever relationship. Then something happens. It might be big or it could be a small thing, but it gives me pause and I run from anyone I think I might love. Why do I do that?

Change, I mean always changing. That’s us, that’s literally everything in our life. Everything changes. It’s a fact of life. The only thing that never changes was a true gift from a loving God. Love, real wonderful crazy love. I want to be accepted and loved in a way that makes others jealous of what we have. Not, I love pizza. I want more than pizza love. I want real. I believe that love is the most important thing this side of Heaven. Your career, bank account, social standing, or all the things you’ve collected in life pale by comparison. So rest up, show up, and never give up. Love waits for all of us. It won’t be easy because easy won’t last. In the meantime, prepare for what’s next and do the next right thing. Be who you are and show them the real you. Because that’s who you want someone to love. Love is worth any price any effort and all you have. Offer all to receive all.

Below is a poem I wrote about living in the love I write about…

“To love is to live inside a poem

Your life has cadence and rhyme  

To love is to live is as though free

Your life with no rules, space or time

To love is to live free from fear and loss

Your life full of knowns and no hills to climb

To love is to finally know the unknown forever

Your life now rests in this beautiful paradigm” – k stepp