Single Again… Love Prefers You

By Kenneth Stepp

 

Life. That word means there is something or someone alive. There are moments when we feel more alive than others. I once repelled down a skyscraper in downtown Atlanta. This was the end of my therapy to conquer my fear of heights. The moment I went over the wall. I was alive on a level I had never felt before. I thought my fear was tamed. Then a friend who knew me well, and is a psychologist said, you didn’t overcome your fear. You get a rush out of knowing you could die. Looking back on my life, he might have something there, living life on my terms has been a priority since my kids became adults.

 

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,

Love like you’ll never be hurt,

Sing like there’s nobody listening,

And live like it’s heaven on earth.”

William W. Purkey

 

So what does living life on your own terms mean? I don’t believe that means you are selfish, just being human makes us selfish on some level, some, more than others. A few, much more than the rest. Again, just the human condition. Hedge fund managers can make billions while creating tent cities full of homeless families and laugh about it over cocktails. I once read an article stating sociopath’s will always reach the top on Wallstreet. Maybe there is something to that. I am a firm believer that we all need to love more. Be the light that exposes the darkness. Some Days, I know that is real, other days I just wish it was. Perspective changes perception every time.

 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”

Martin Luther King Jr

 

Love, or unconditional love that is. This is what we need, or at least a lot more of it. “Love thy neighbor as yourself.” Do you think He meant that or thought it would be something nice to think about? I’m going to go with the former on that one. He went on to say that this was equal to loving God, and that it fulfilled the law. So it must have been important. Enough preachiness. It isn’t my style. But thinking about love is. Love has a power nothing compares to. Helping a homeless person is a loving act, showing them love. But unconditionally loving another. That is a whole other stretch of road. Many never experience this. And that is so sad. It’s like our entire nation needs to learn to love again.

 

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

Pablo Neruda

 

Let’s talk about unconditional love for another. If I love you this way, I love you more than I do myself. Very much like a mother loves her child. Let’s say I love someone. I don’t have them as a partner, even though I love her, I am not who she is looking for. When she tells me she is in love with someone, I am happy for her. Jealousy cannot exist where love exists. I would explain it to her like this. When she told her mother she was in love, her mother was happy for her. It is no different for me. That’s what love does, I want her happiness over mine. No jealousy can invade that love, love is love. We Americans want to give love different labels. We should stop that and just love. Accept it when it comes. The world will be a more beautiful place if we did.

 

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

Lao Tzu