By Kenneth Stepp
“When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”
― Jess C. Scott
I remember when I was a kid, how I felt about my dad was amazing. To me, he was Superman. If he was around, nothing could hurt me. Why? Because my dad loved me and I knew he would never allow anything to harm me. Love was the key, I knew my dad loved me, it just wasn’t a question, not something an eight year old boy should even bother himself with. I just knew when my dad was near, nothing, I mean nothing, could hurt me.
To an eight year old child, our parents are the picture of what love is. My dad left us in November of 2011. He was my guy. His simple wisdom is the voice in my head today. He showed me what a man was. He taught me to be a man. Although many times, mostly during my teen years, I didn’t think much of his opinion. But I always knew he loved me and when I visited him on our family farm in Shelbyville Ky, I felt that safe feeling again. I’m not sure why. I’ve always been able to take care of myself. Big, strong, and for years, a professional fighter. Nothing scared me. Or did it? Why did I feel so safe at his house? Unconditional love does this. It allows you to lower your defenses and relax. Love and only love is capable of this.
I speak of my dad because I want to make a point about love. Real love, not words or deeds. You see, love is always the same. Parental love and the love of someone you share no DNA with is the same love, they just have different components. One, you are born into a family that loves you. The other, you are stitched into it. Real love takes time. As a matter of fact, it must be tested by time. You break up and you think. Well. I got over the rest, I’ll get over this one too. Then you don’t. You see, real love is forever. Time and space mean nothing to it. I’ve lived this so I know this is how it works. I learned the hard way.
Enough about unrequited love. I want to talk about two people being in love with one another. Not settling, not together out of convenience, not because of loneliness, or finances. You’d be surprised how many live their entire lives with someone for these reasons. I’m talking about the love my family shared. Let’s talk about the benefits of unconditional love. A love that never needs to be questioned. We always know it’s there and we’re ok. A love that means we never have to wonder what the other one is up to when we aren’t together. A love we know will be there till the end. One that is solid and is the most important thing in our lives. In a word. Love doesn’t just make us feel safe. It is safe.
To know we are safe from the things that come at us because we have a partner who will stand with us no matter what. That is real safety. That is what home feels like. It isn’t where you are. It’s who is there with you. I’ve seen homeless couples before. I’ve engaged in conversations with many of them. They were not always homeless. They had jobs, they lived in a house, apartment, or something before. Life knocked them down, yet they stood with one another no matter how bad things got. Their home was a person, not sticks and bricks. Maybe it’s time we reevaluated what love is. Maybe love is more than what we thought. Maybe love really is power. Love is my safe place. That place has a name, a heart, and a mind of her own. My love will be my safe place.
#comefindme
“For the two of us, home isn’t a place. It is a person. And we are finally home.”
― Stephanie Perkins
