Single Again… Lie To Me

By Kenneth Stepp

 

The truth is out there. Sometimes the truth is right in front of us and we can’t or refuse to see it. Truth and reality have little to do with one another in the singles community. You can tell someone you just want to be friends and it may not sink in. You can tell someone you are dating but never going anywhere as a couple, and it isn’t accepted, therefore, not heard at all. Is it any wonder this journey is so complicated and confusing? Logic and understanding have left us and been replaced with only want and desire to lead us through these crazy waters. In other words, we hear only what we want and see only what we want.

 

Recently I allowed myself to believe that someone from my past was no longer going to be in my past. It happens more often than you might think. This girl has been a part of my singles history for over five years. It seems that time after time I find her back in my life, thus back in my heart. She makes a great entrance, dragging so much hope and so many dreams behind her… Then one day, as quickly as she appeared, she’s gone again. Although I am convinced that we care far more for one another than our history would lead a rational person to believe, we just can’t seem to pull a relationship off. It isn’t her fault, nor is it my fault. Blame would not serve our story well. As a matter of fact, it seldom does anyone a bit of good at all. We simply can’t be a “we’. Two damaged people that has a wall of damage blocking them from each other.

 

This search for love has lead me to so many wonderful people that today I call friends. I suppose knowing others have been hurt like me has created a bond between all of us. Of course we all met online, many on dating sites and Facebook singles groups. I can honestly say that I have made a few forever friends while searching for my forever love. Then I’ve met some who will lie, be someone they are not, and only seem to want to cause pain. They are so good at it. “I love you”… Please do not use those words unless you mean them. We are all parched and dying of dehydration and those words are like water to us, of course we all want to believe them. And many times we do. I have and it caused pain that will last a lifetime.

 

Then there are those in this sea of singleness who only want lies, or that is the life they lead. They will change from one partner to the other, searching, waiting, and listening for those words… I love you. I hate to spoil the ending to that story. But the end is near baby, know it’s coming. If you go from lie to lie to lie and continue to believe it. You are an addict. You are not addicted to love. You are addicted to hearing those words and the way they make you feel. Sanity never seems to prevail. I’ve met people along the way that say they are searching for something real, but their history and the way they view life indicates they are really searching for a few beautiful lies. The endorphins they must feel when they hear them have to be like some drugs that exist today.

 

Lie to me… Can you imagine meeting someone, having a great couple of dates, cuddling on the sofa and having them say, lie to me? It would be more honest. Strange, but transparent at the same time.

 

I love. I truly do. I have romantically loved three times in my many years. I will always love them and my love runs deep. To the very center of who I am. You see, the relationship may not last, but the love, if it was real, is a life sentence. A conundrum I will ask God about when I see Him. One of many. I have friends I love, it’s a different sort of thing that in the onset may have been awkward at first. But love is there, they are few, but in my heart I want to protect them, in my mind I worry about them. This is but a few reasons I know I love them.

 

Today I am love

Tomorrow, yet again I will be love

I, Love am consistent and always

I, Love am beyond time and I go further than space

I, Love will be and always am

I, Love will always be love

 

• K stepp

 

 

Talk is cheap, if someone really loves you, you will know it, it will be obvious because we behave what we believe, if we love, our actions always show it. Accept no substitute, wait for the real thing. If you are reading this, you are lovable. Remember that…

 

“Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both.”― Patrick Ness