By Kenneth Stepp
When I was very young, I’d wake up from a night on the town and wonder if what happened in my head the night before, actually happened. Years later, having matured as much as a man is capable of maturing, I have evolved. No longer one for partying, drinking too much, or hitting the clubs, my memory of recent events is less cloudy than it was when I tried being the cool guy. Nowadays, what you see is what you get. Whether or not you like what you see, is on you.I’m not concerned with such things any longer. Evolution at its finest. So, how does a person get to this place? They live life. Life has a way of getting almost all of us here. One day we are dancing,holding a margarita in a bar, the next we struggle to be a responsible human being. I believe this is a common path for most of us. None of us grow up by choice, and there is always pain.
“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami
So, knowing the difference from what happened and what didn’t, I am faced with logic and reason as to how I handle what happened. If you have been reading me very long, you know I write about my journey to find my forever love. The girl I believe was created just for me and I for her. The search has both fascinated me and confused me in equal measure. If you have been single long, you will understand both. I have met hundreds on this quest for her. Everyone has equal value. I do believe this. But different people have different value to individuals they meet. Four times, in a little over five years, I have been completely blown away by someone, all for different reasons–one by her passion for life, one by her compassion, one by her work ethic, and one by her intellect, and all by their sexual energy. That’s the only way I can think to describe that. I found them all irresistible for these very different reasons. Perhaps these qualities are sexy to me. Another chicken or the egg quandary, I suppose.
“It always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty. It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.”
― John Green
These wonderful people “happened” to me. I never expect someone I’m going to meet to be my kind of fabulous. If anything, this journey has taught me to expect little and hope for a great surprise. Dating as a mature adult is so different now. Things do happen, some not very nice things. I’ve been stalked, had one girl lie about being single, been attacked and lied about, had a couple of people become obsessed about making me pay for rejecting them, and many more things. I guess you could say happenings happen. I love people. My default way of handling things that are negative when they happen is to wonder what happened to someone that made them act this way. To not retaliate, but to remove myself from them in any way I can. Will we find these things while searching for our forever love? Of course we will. But in the process we will also find amazing new friends who will fill our lives with joy. We will also find idea people who help us solve problems. This is how we build our new community. This is how we fill our lives with love. And if we are fortunate enough to find that one very special person to spend the rest of our life with, it was all worth whatever we endured to get to that place. For that reason, I remain hopeful. I wake up each day and do the next right thing. Good luck my friends. Happy hunting…
“Mysteries of attraction could not always be explained through logic. Sometimes the fractures in two separate souls became the very hinges that held them together.”
― Lisa Kleypas
Stay open to change, stay open to different, and,most of all, stay open to love. Meet them, talk with them, know they are important, and be kind. It’s just one flawed person at a time. One will teach you that magic is real…