By Kenneth Stepp
Is it? I’ve not only heard differing answers but I have also believed different ways to answer this very important question. You see, I’ve been single for over 7 years. I’ve been through a lot and I have been tasked with writing about being single, dating, and a host of other things about relationships. My opinion means less as time goes on. Why? Because my answers keep changing.
Have you been single long enough to change every view and opinion you have? Maybe more than once. It’s confusing and if you just became single, I am so sorry. Everything you know in your mind about being single will change very soon. Prepare yourself for that mentally and emotionally. I said that like I actually knew how. No one really knows how.
Being single today is as confusing as anything I have personally experienced. We throw ourselves in the middle of the sea of single humanity, we think we know what to expect. Then BOOM! We meet a new online friend, we like them, they like us…. All of the sudden they have vanished from everywhere. Ghosting is so disrespectful.
Most of my friends are girls, most are trying their hearts out to navigate being single, all have stories, all have been damaged and endured demeaning experiences along the way. In a world that seems to have lost it’s moral compass completely, they feel out of place and alone.
At some point, most will do things to fit in that they would never have done in the past. One day they realize they aren’t themselves anymore and return to being who they were to begin with. And of course, alone again. This happens to men too, I’ve lived it myself.
Well, the title asks a question, “is love enough”. My answer to this for the first 5 years I was single was, of course it is. Having lived through loving someone who actually returned that love, I can say without a doubt, love is never enough, it never will be, Compatibility must be included. Without compatibility we will always fail. Which for me is a very sad thought.
So, how do we find real unconditional love that lasts? Maybe I’m off on a new theory or perhaps I’ve learned the answer from past experiences with relationships. I’ve also had the honor of being a go to guy for my friends who just need to talk. Either way, I believe we have to look hard at the life we built and the one they built. Can you see yours blending with theirs? If not, pursuing them could end in a painful crash. Even if you both want it badly.
Is love enough? My repetitive question is answered with maybe now. Compatibility for me matters. I might matter as much as love does. If she hikes Mount Everest every year and expects her man to do it with her… I’m not her man. I actually would have done that when I was a younger man. My pursuits have changed over the years.
Do you understand my message? I may not be right, or I may be right for myself alone. Whatever the truth is, I wish every one of you happiness, joy, and it is my wish that we all remember that we are all on the same journey with a different window to look out of. Be kind to one another.
