Single Again… I’m Impressed

By Kenneth Stepp

Having had a lot of financial success in my past and being raised very poor, I fell into many of the same traps people like me fall into. I struggled my entire life to survive until one day I found myself swimming in success. For two decades my wife and I never thought about looking at the price of anything. I remember looking for a house once and falling in love with one that was $1.2 million dollars. It was beautiful, huge, in “the right” area, and surrounded by important people. I’m smiling now, you should be too. My wife asked me if we could afford it. I had close to that much in my checking account that day. Yes we can baby. Yes we can. We slept on it and decided we wanted to raise our kids in a middle class neighborhood instead.

Back then I was easily impressed. I remember having a successful friend meet me for lunch, he was wearing a Rolex watch. I’d never seen one before, but he made a big deal about it. Well, I bought myself one the next day and mine had to me a submariner in 18k gold. There, I was important now too. It was just that easy. I could buy importance. I believe there are some people in Washington DC that buys and sells it. But that’s another discussion for another time. I can remember my important friend pulling up to my office in a Ferrari. It was red with a cream leather, almost new. I was impressed. I was also getting ready to visit my family back in Kentucky and thought I would look great in this impressive chariot. I bought it from him like many would buy a cup of coffee. By the end of the day I sold it to another friend because, being a giant, I did not fit in my new impressive ride. I bought a Range Rover and headed towards Kentucky. I still looked important.

Awash in  money, toys, and “stuff” of all kind, is fun for a while. Then your eyes are opened and if you were raised by parents who loved people and used things, you saw more need in the world than you did when you were on that buying spree. Don’t get me wrong, spoiling yourself is a blast. Spoiling my wife and kids back then was an amazing rush for me too. But at some point the mud falls from our eyes, at least it did with me. I saw the hurting, hungry, and homeless masses. I also began to feel a little silly having acted the way I did. At first I was just generous to strangers. I literally gave cars away to needy single moms. I mean three or four a month. I can remember helping a family that lived in a cramped apartment buy a house. But it began to feel like when I bought my first Rolex watch. It was still about me.

After living a life of wealth and comfort for twenty years I discovered irregularities in my business. My accountability systems I had set up failed and after crunching some very scary numbers, $1.3 million was gone, stolen, and was never coming back. We lost everything. I took all the heat, I protected all I could. My reputation was destroyed, we lost who we were and what we had. It was all gone. Our homes, buildings, accounts, savings, all wiped out completely. Eventually we lost us. My intact family was traded in for just me and my truck trying to figure life out alone. It was brutal and those people I once helped, well, I’m more like them than I ever thought I’d be. I wanted to do something but motivation was scarce. I founded a nonprofit and over the years have helped all I could. I stopped judging, at least most of the time. And this caused me to see people in a different light completely. I cared more. My entire life view changed when faced with having nothing. I’m no longer impressive. But people impress me all the time.

Time impresses me. Show me someone that knows money has no value, the time you trade to earn it does. A kind heart is impressive. Show me someone who smiles and says hello to a homeless person, someone who asks, may I buy you a meal? Billy Graham had a way of living life. He led with love and changed the world. Mother Teresa lived on the dirty streets of Calcutta taking care of people that only she saw as important. Her quote, “you can’t love them if you judge them”, changed my worldview. Billy and her impressed me. John Maxwell has a quote about being an effective leader, “People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care”. He impresses me. The human emotional system is an amazing thing. With a smile, a nod, or a gesture, we can make someone else have a great day.

Do you want to be impressive? It costs nothing, requires nothing, and can mean everything to someone. Lead with love people. You might not can change the world, but you absolutely can change your world. Your world, meaning the people you meet along the way…

“Don’t love to be loved in return. Love for the sake of loving.”

― Connor Chalfant