Single Again… Her

By Kenneth Stepp

Her… I call her, My Her. She loves me or at least, she will one day. She is special in so many ways, more than I can pen at this moment. I learn more about her as time goes by, as I dream of the future we will have, the adventures we will find ourselves in, the conversations about deep subjects we will experience, even the problems we will face together. 

We will be inseparable. Not clingy, just blended together in a way that I struggle to explain. I have had some near misses. I have even daydreamed about someone I felt was potentially her. I guess that’s the human side of me yearning to be the other half of a whole. I know I am a complete person, but what I will be with her will simply be inexplicable, but amazing…

I think about her all the time. I even fantasize about things we will do together. Enjoying a play, a concert, an art museum, or just riding around sightseeing together. I even talk to her at times when I’m on one of my adventures. Usually involving riding through the mountains or across a bridge with a lake or river underneath. Those will be amazing days and a wonderful last chapter to our lives. 

I think about what traits she will have. Patience will have to be one of them, I’m a mess and will need that. I’m impulsive, there I said it. It excites me to think of waking up Saturday morning and saying, let’s head to the mountains, the lake, the coast, just something fun that will require riding and having great conversation. And we will have many of those. Some superficial and some very deep.

Our time together will be sacred. In my mind’s eye, many won’t understand us at all. But to be honest, that’s ok with us. We are a we and not much else matters. We know two things without doubt. We are accepted fully by one another and we will always be on one another’s side. Beyond that, it’s all adventure. 

Have you ever thought of your forever like this? For me she is as real as anyone I know. I even believe I know her. On what level I am unsure, but my gut tells me we are already real to one another. Did we miss one another? Is something growing or will something grow between us? These are the questions that knock around in my head like ping pong balls.

As I step back from the dating scene for a while to catch my breath and regroup a bit. I see so many struggling with what their future looks like. I have my moments with that too. But fearing the future isn’t my style at all. I know there is someone right around the corner waiting for someone like me. Perhaps she speaks with me when she’s riding around too. See you soon. Very soon.