By Kenneth Stepp
So long, till we meet again, sayonara, and later. These all mean one thing, goodbye. Goodbyes are part of the singles journey. One day you are having fun, enjoying a special persons company, dreaming the, can it be, dream. The next day we are saying, good luck with your future to one another. Dating as a grown up is difficult at best.
Saying goodbye to someone who held a piece of your heart feels so confusing. You want to open the door and let them leave, while banshees are screaming in your head, NO! For me, I swallow the pain, muster a smile, and hold the door for her. A gentleman always holds the door.
As she walks away a flood of thoughts go through my brain. The first, this is going to hurt us both, the next is usually, we’ll both be better off, and the third is a hope to remain friends. Those are the top three every time.
There is sometimes a fourth though. Is this a mistake? Only time will answer that one. And time is seldom kind. We invested time in one another and now we wait for time to give us answers. It’s a travesty and a reality at the same time.
I’m told time is the great healer. But time has hurt me more than healed me. Love must be time tested. What this has done for me has confirmed I was in love and now she is a memory. Time is a tyrant at times. Because it’s easy to feel in love, say, I love you, and hold on for the ride. Only time will tell you if it’s true. By the time I knew, she was gone.
For me, goodbyes have always been confusing. Necessary in my life, but so so painful. We all want to love and be loved. If there is a process I can go through without painful goodbyes, I’d love to hear about it. As I flash backwards in time I see happier days that made far more sense than the dating scene does today. Can we go back to them? I wish…
As far as going back in time, well, my way back machine seems to have left without me. Perhaps an aluminum car or a blue phone booth would be more practical now. I remember when dating wasn’t hurtful, when goodbyes were more natural, and when intentions were out in the open. Good times.
When I was young I was popular. I had friends, some, I thought would be friends for life, only one was. So maybe I’m delusional about life back in the day, maybe things were the same as today, only now I feel more, care more, and hope more. Maybe, just maybe.
Missing someone who we invest our time treasure and talents in has become a daily activity. We meet so many special people along the way. Some we have endearing pet names for. Like sweetie, baby, and my love. When you are in a relationship these words have meaning. But we are in the south and reminders of these words will hit us as daily reminders of what was or could have been.
One thing is for sure. We make memories with people and those memories never die. For me they are a reminder of when dreams died. If you are reading this and walked through that door as I opened it, I will always miss you.
