Single Again… Gone Again

By Kenneth Stepp

Here’s a statement of fact. Being single is hard. First, I have to do everything. There’s no partner to help with anything, if something needs doing, it’s always on me. I pay for everything. When I was married, there were two incomes and it made life easier. And lastly, people did not come and go so often when I was married. Life seemed more stable, more knowing how the day would go instead of waking to change all the time. 

My life is equipped with a revolving door, or so it seems. One day a person is there and the next day, they are gone. Even the ones that matter most. You care for one another one day and the next day you’re blocking one another and announcing you’ll never speak again. Time goes by, How have you been? It’s maddening.

My life for the 24 years I was with my wife was mostly stable. Things just were what they were, very little guesswork to it. Honestly, it was easy. We had the kids, we had our home, and we had one another. I knew tomorrow would look a lot like today and yesterday. Just doing life. This is just one reason I know I was created to partner with another.

I believe one of the most confusing parts of this journey is the revolving door. How can two people who care about one another vanish without a trace only to reappear months later? I have a “friend” that this happens with and has for 6 ½ years. Together we love the adventures we find ourselves on. Museums, art, theater. A plethora of culture. We both love these.

We have outings that are amazing, when we are together, time stands still. When we are apart, wow! It’s as if we become enemies at times. Today, she is quiet. I may even be blocked, she does that. Tomorrow, who knows? I love the eclectic stew of people in my life. Most are a bit quirky but amazing. I suppose they are my mosaic of life. And I guess the quirkiness is why they come and go. I always know we will talk again though.

I love people. I actually care about those in my life. I try and check on people. As my readership and social media has grown, I can’t keep up the way I used to. I have 5 amazing humans that I lovingly call, my tribe. They are my best friends and all are so different from one another. My life would be awful without them in it. It’s funny, they never leave. They never go through the revolving door. We are stable in our relationships. 

I am thankful for everyone in my life. I am always glad when my friend shows back up. I always hope she will. She means so much to me and has become a sporadic but important part of me. Some people leave a hole when they aren’t there. She’s like that. We both like the same things, our IQs and education are similar so they conversations are always lively and fun.

We all have those in our lives that make life better. They bring differing opinions and gifts to our being. I’m sitting on my sofa reminding myself of some of the best times we’ve had. Reflection is so important to all of us. My life goes on and so does hers. Thrift store shopping, graffiti tours, and live plays. Fun times. Who do you miss right now?


  1. Yes to a lot of this. I do have trouble understanding the going of a good friend. If it gets ugly why go through it over and over? I worry that I am too quick to say, well if that’s how it is I won’t go along with it so Out you can you allow the ugliness back in even for a short time of good, and getting along…maybe I have too much Irish, and would still be thinking of the bad times even sitting, happy with this person. You know what Irish Alzheimer’s is? They forget everything but their grudges….good luck. I woukd not let this person back in. All the best❤️🙋🏼‍♀️

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