Single Again… Fully Known Yet Loved

By Kenneth Stepp

Over 7 years ago when I became single again, I was naive, lost, and very unenlightened about what had happened to the singles community while I was away from it for 24 years. It had changed. I would have to give it much thought to find a positive change. Someone mentioned the ease at which you can meet someone new because of the internet. To me, that isn’t a plus, it just means more distractions and increased odds of overlooking “the one”, because of them.

I’ll never forget the first girl I met. I was so taken by her. She was my rebound relationship. I remember a very deep conversation that we had, it was our first. It was about acceptance. She said, all I have to offer someone is what you see before you. Without acceptance of what you see, we only have this moment, there will be no more. That hit me and made me realize that to be accepted fully mattered more than almost anything. We’re all aging…

To be fully known and loved unconditionally is love in biblical proportion. I have a deep thinking friend who played a song for me called, Known. As many of you know, I speak of knowns often. Knowing who I’ll be with a year from now, who I’ll grow old with, ok, older with, who I can make plans with, etc, you get it. My forever. But this song was about being accepted by someone who knows all of me, the good, bad, and ugly. I felt that down deep.

For those of you who don’t understand a borderline insane mind. I’m writing about this deep song and this one began playing inside my head.

“I wanna be loved by you, just you

And nobody else but you

I wanna be loved by you, alone!

Boop-boop-a-doop!”

Welcome to my mind. I’m not sure when I started thinking this way, but here I am. To drive home my point though, they are saying the same thing. I want to be loved by her and nobody else but her. Add forever and unconditionally and you’re there. If she reads this, she will smile right about now. 

I remember falling deeply for a girl a few years back. She knew everything about me, all of it, things I’ll never write about. I can honestly say that she knew me better than any other human being. She pursued me anyway and loved me anyway. We didn’t make it but these facts comfort me when I feel I have no worth. We all have those days (not trying to disrespect our sociopaths, i know you don’t have those days).

Things I believe, want to believe, or dream about. She and I are known to one another, we have a bond of some kind, it could be a gut feeling, and we are both becoming who we will be when we discover us. To be fully known by someone is not easy. It takes transparency, 100% honesty, and being authentic with each other. The walls we’ve built have to be destroyed to build this kind of relationship.

My final thoughts… Know me, destroy my walls, tear away my pretense, invade my space, and my heart, see all of me and stay anyway. I won’t be like your past and you won’t be like mine. But when all distractions are silenced, we will still be standing. In basketball, nothing but net. In real life love, nothing but us. Come, stay, calm, rest.

#comefindme