Life After Divorce…Feminism Hurt Women More Than It Helped

By Lindy Earl

It has happened to all of us, and in both directions.  We have tried to help someone, and it backfired.  In reverse, someone has tried to help us, and ended up making matters worse.

I believe that’s what happened with feminism.  It started as a good cause, way back in the 1960’s.  Equal pay for equal work just makes sense.  It did happen that two people doing similar jobs were paid differently, based on their gender.  It’s also true that, for years, male nurses in the military were enlisted and female nurses were officers.  So challenges work in both directions.  Male nurses are now officers, so that’s been handled.

Feminism, supposedly, also opened the door for women to simply have access to better, higher level jobs.  Once upon a time, teachers were female but principals were male.  I think that glass ceiling has been sufficiently shattered.  Women are now CEOs of large corporations.  We have made it.  So why does feminism continue?

Well, just like the March of Dimes, some things never go away.  The March of Dimes was created to fight polio.  Polio has been cured, yet the organization remains.  It is also a non-profit with some of the highest paid executives with the least amount of donations making their way to actually help people.  Maybe organizations should be disbanded after they have achieved their goals.

The challenge with feminism, however, is that I believe it hurt women in general.  If a woman is tough enough to work at a man’s job, somehow she became tough enough to not need help with her coat or have a door opened for her.  What?  How are these related?

I should have the job I want if, and only if, I am qualified for it through my education, experience, and abilities.  That’s how employment works – you hire the best person for the job, not necessarily the best man or woman for the job.  This is how companies stay competitive thus stay in business thus are able to continue employing people.

Treating ladies like ladies has nothing to do with this.  As women have become more competitive in the workplace, they somehow gave up their feminine charms at home as well as at work.  Why do I need to prove that I’m as strong as a man?  First of all, child birth alone proves women can handle far more pain than men.  But if I choose to ask a man, who is physically stronger than me, to open a jar of pickles, what is wrong with that?  It’s simply common sense!

If you have to reach something on a high shelf, don’t you ask the tallest person in the room to help, male or female?  Of course I can get out a step stool, but a person is simply easier, and it gets them involved.  That’s a good thing.

When we tell men we don’t need them to help with anything, we emasculate them as well as de-feminize ourselves.  Emasculating men slowly destroys them, and when we destroy half the population, we destroy the entire population.

I want to live in a world where men want to nurture and protect me.  I want to live in a world where I can cry and a man, a real man, doesn’t roll his eyes; instead he simply holds me with my head on his shoulder.  Sometimes we need that!  I want to be able to confide in a man and not be judged as weak for my feelings.  I want to be weak at some things, even while I’m strong at others.

A person can’t be all things to all people, and I choose not to be.  I choose to enjoy being the woman I am – strong in some ways, dependent in other ways.  I like being treated like a lady, so hold open the door for me, pull out my chair, compliment me.  I will not be offended by it.  And for the women who are offended by manners, you have no idea what you’re missing!  Just because you don’t want to be treated like the lady you were meant to be, don’t try to take it away from the rest of us.  Feminism has been a bum rap for men and women alike.  Let’s unite in banning this silly concept and returning to old fashioned courtesy.

That’s Life After Divorce.

Lindy is a Speaker, Columnist, Author, and Consultant.  Contact her at LMEarl@EarlMarketing.com or find and like her page on Face Book, and join her FB support group, Single Again: From Devastation to Dating.