By Kenneth Stepp
As the holidays come closer into view, the time of year I have come to dread most, I find myself thankful again. I remember a time just 7 years ago when I was thankful all the time. But since becoming single, thankfulness has been hard to find. Until today…
I’ve been single for 6 years and 10 months. Those years have had a measure of good times and several great memories, but they have been filled with memories I can never have again, regrets, and so much pain. The losses stack up faster than I can deal with them or process them. There are days when I struggle to just catch my breath.
Today is Wednesday. Not just any Wednesday, this is the day before Thanksgiving. I cooked my first turkey today. As I stroll through my humble home it hit me. I am so blessed. I’ve made it through some things I never thought I would. If someone had told me almost 7 years ago all the things I would face, well, I would rather have checked out long ago.
What happened? I believe a miracle. Got whispered, “do an inventory”. Most of my readers know that I never write about my relationship with God and I will never write about anything political. I respect my audience enough to never go there. But as I “check my inventory”, I really cannot explain my life without mentioning my God.
I’ve had wealth, I’ve had nice homes and nice things. I’m educated, have a measure of sophistication, love art and even understand fashion pretty well. Today I live in a small but very nice home that I love, I drive a truck I enjoy, and I am never without the things I need. I think that puts me in the blessed category. Today, I am thankful.
My friends are amazing. I have five other humans in my life that I believe God gave me. They never judge me but don’t let me get away with doing things that aren’t good for me. I love them. Real love, not like when we say, I love pizza. This is more the, I love you love, kind of love. The kind that lasts. I believe they feel the same about me. I am so blessed.
In my life I have loved 3 people unconditionally. I’m blessed because there are so many that haven’t loved that way at all. I can’t imagine not having learned what unconditional love is. It’s so different and so permanent. Unconditional love is a life sentence and I gladly accept it, even if it doesn’t work out. Loving someone unconditionally doesn’t diminish my ability to love unconditionally again, it increases it. Think of a candle lighting another candle.
So on this day, it’s 68 and sunny, my doors are open as I prepare Thanksgiving dinner for my roommate and me, windchimes are tinkling, the birds are singing, and every now and then I hear the train whistle in the distance. Does it get better than this? It probably could. But today I am content with what God has brought me. Today, I am thankful.
Psalm 107:1 (NIV) -“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.”