Single Again… “You Are Here”

By Kenneth Stepp

We were at Disney World years ago. The kids were having a blast, so were we. We split up, my daughter and I went one way, my wife and son went another. We were meeting up again in two hours. Those who know me well, know that I get lost often. I remember finding a map that day.; It was actually a huge sign. The most helpful part of that sign was an arrow pointing to three wonderful words, “you are here”… Life would be so much easier with a sign that said that, wouldn’t it? Being single these days and at this age is difficult at best. And many of us just don’t have a clue where we are on this journey.

“The trouble is not that I am single and likely to stay single, but that I am lonely and likely to stay lonely.”  ― Charlotte Brontë

Have you met someone that made a great impression on you yet? We all have. One day we meet a great person, potentially a life mate. You talk every day, make plans, begin to dream again, and BOOM! All communication ends abruptly, nothing to do but wonder. I have heard this story more often than any other story. I always wonder why this happens. I don’t believe things were that way before the internet. Yes, I remember those days. Things felt more solid back then, more real maybe. We drop our guard and allow someone in, we have visions of how life could be with them, we mentally see us in different scenarios with them too. Then, as if made from vapor, they blow away. It’s a phenomenon I still struggle to get use to. The question is…. How do we keep our heart prepared and open?

“Still single today?? No worries.. keep love in your heart, a life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead, the consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring… ― ejump

You are here. What a wonderful concept. You are here,,,, with instructions on what to do while here. That would be amazing. You are here… Have a quart of rocky road ice cream and a margarita. There, now that would be a helpful sign. Life doesn’t have those signs though. If you’re like me, you just stumble around hoping to figure it all out. I have stumbled so much while my quest for Her, my Her, goes forward. Or is it actually forward at all? Some days I want to scream out loud. I have all this love and you can’t see it. But then people would know I’m crazy and that wouldn’t help matters at all. So we do the next right thing, or hope we do. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. You get my meaning. Like a death march, or feels that way some days.

“That feeling you get when you want to tell someone you love them, and there is no one there..” ― Melody Carstairs

You are here. Right here, where you belong? If you believe in fate or God directing your every move, then you might believe you are where you belong. Then there is free will, that trumps fate or God’s direction every time. You are here would be an amazing thing to know where here is finally. Are we left to wander the earth searching for someone who may not exist? Is she a unicorn like creature. I thought I found her before. And just when I think I haven’t, I wonder if I did find her and our timing was wrong. What a confusing mess. I have interviewed hundreds of singles in the past 6 plus years. I may have the answer to where we are. Maybe we aren’t anywhere. Maybe we are still on the launch pad and all this has been training, preparation for a great life with a great partner. Or maybe we or at least I, will be alone with my thoughts forever. Seems a shame really…

He’s a real nowhere man

Sitting in his nowhere land

Making all his nowhere plans for nobody” – The Beatles