Single Again… Recycled Love

By Kenneth Stepp

Do you recycle? Many recycle plastic, aluminum, and various other things. Some for profit, some for spare change. We are a people who recycles for one reason or the other. Today, because I write about relationships, dating, and love. I want to talk about recycled love. I think you’ll recognise it as I explain.

Being single doesn’t necessarily mean we will meet a lot of people. Being single and on the internet does. I meet someone new every day. Many of us do.This means we have a blend of humanity that reappears into our minds as if the thoughts are more in control of us than we are. We’ve all met so many along the way. It makes sense that in almost everyone, there is something we will miss about them.

I have liked, had crushes, and yes, loved along the way. This singles journey has been both exciting and confusing. When I think of people who I felt so strongly about and now they are gone. Some are unreachable, some are partnered, and some are visible then invisible. It can be maddening at times.

For me the phenomenon of those we shared very strong feelings for just reappearing from time to time. Why? I watch this happen in other people’s lives as well. Did we not make the decision to terminate our possibility of being a couple back then? Are we unfinished business? Was there more to us than you thought? 

I am watching someone now that means a lot to me go through this. She dated someone for years. It was on his terms and was never going anywhere. For years since he remained in the background on a friend level. But when she found someone who she was serious about, he shows back up. Now she appeals to him again.

I’m not talking about just her. It has not only happened to me, I have actually done this myself. It is in fact, a phenomenon. There must be something about the human condition that causes this. It can’t be love, because love would have stayed. It can’t be obsession, because obsession would have pushed consistently. 

I’m lost on how to make sense of this. We all have regrets. God knows I have as many regrets as I do memories. There are people in my past that can still break my heart just thinking about what might have been. We leave a trail of heart pieces behind every time we think there is a chance at forever. 

Being single at a time in life that seems so unnatural to be single is a hard pill to swallow. For me, I planned a future that looks nothing like the life I live today. I think most of us did. I worked hard and built a business that I had sold for 7 figures net, only to find it had all been embezzled away. I was a good husband and father, yet today, that life is just a memory behind a very dark cloud. 

We all planned a different life than we have today. We all did what we thought was the right things to get there. Most of us are not living what we knew we would live. For me, I missed it by a lot. My regrets are many and my mistakes are even more than that.

I explained my mistakes and regrets to try to explain what may be happening with recycled love. Maybe we or they show back up because they are scared they will have regrets about us. Or maybe because they are afraid us not making it together will have been a mistake. Maybe when we see an ex with someone else it gives us pause about what might have been.

Or, maybe we are all damaged, confused and lonely. I am or have been all 3. I’m guessing you have too.. Stay safe out there my single friends. Understanding this journey is seldom easy and mostly puzzling. Work on being the best version of you that you can be. I believe great things happen when we do that.