By Kenneth Stepp
I no longer sleep well. My mind is full of things that once filled my heart. When I am dealing with matters of the heart I rise to the occasion. I’ve been writing a column for local media for 8 years about being single, dating, love, etc.
Local media like, Georgia Newz, Patch, and now Georgia News Daily. I’ve also written a few books that Amazon has been kind enough to sell for me. Today I am still dealing with matters of the heart. The problem is that they have moved to my mind. They are out of place.
I will first admit that I am a romantic and an empath. This means I feel deeper than most. Those who knew me in my younger years would not recognise the man I have become. Feeling things so deeply leaves me in a clump of tangled mess at times. Like a terrible car wreck where you cannot tell what kind of car it actually was.
I have a friend who is an empath too. She is someone I love deeply. What’s odd is we never really talk about it. Perhaps if we spoke of it our minds would remind us of the pain being like this brings. Maybe keeping it in is a defensive play. It’s only been a couple of years since I embraced the type of human God created me to be.
I titled this piece, Love is a Journey. It really has been. I have loved and lost, I have thought I was in love and wasn’t, and I’ve been told I was loved but wasn’t. While most people walk away and “get over it”. I must do something very different. Knowing my heart is stuck in places I wish it wasn’t, I have to learn to live with knowing I love in vain.
I believe there are many in the singles universe that think they know what love is but don’t. To many, love is a feeling, a situation, something that warms them to hear or say, or an agreement of sorts. For me, love is more like someone drilled deep into my heart and planted it there. I write about love being a life sentence a lot. I’ve been told by a few that they stopped loving someone. 1 Corinthians 13:8 says, Love never fails. That means it never stops or ends if it’s real love.
I lost someone very dear to me recently. She passed away. I loved her and always will. If my love for her still exists then I have to think somewhere in the universe her love for me does too. Love is so much more than we can imagine. I say that because I have the imagination of a writer and can’t fully wrap my head around what love is. It’s more than feelings is all I have. I am so happy mankind was created out of love. It was the main ingredient. That adds to the nuance of love and life.
It’s at this point that I slow my rambling words down and try to make sense out of my life. I was asked yesterday if I could ever love again. My answer was that I do love. Presentense love. Right now love. Today I am in love. You see, I’ve loved before and that means I still love. I say that as someone who thinks daily about loving and being loved.
We in the singles community embarked on a journey. For most of us it was a quest to find love again. Many of us, if not all of us know now just how confusing that journey can be. Most of us had normal lives. We had a spouse we did life with, kids we raised together, and built lives that made sense. That was then and this is now.
Today some of us are searching, some of us are taking a break, and some of us are near the breaking point. I’ve been in all three places more times than I care to admit. For me I have built a life full of purpose and real friends. Anyone that reaches out to me I try to help. I genuinely love people. And that is a miracle based on how selfish and self centered I know I can be.
The one thing I have learned on the 8 plus year journey is we can all help one another. We can also damage one another. Choose to be a good human. Help where and when you can. I’ve lost so much and so has everyone else swimming in this single sea with me. The one thing I would tell anyone that would listen is, just be nice. Kindness will always have value.