Single Again… Be Different

By Kenneth Stepp

A reputation unearned is valueless. It means nothing. It means you can behave in any manner and have a free pass. I’m a writer with a large audience. There are things said and thought about me that are untrue. Both good and bad. The truth is that I’m average at everything. I excel at a few and I’m terrible at a few. That’s real humanity. 

Last week I was with my roommate and a friend. We all visited a new sushi place near the house. It was a great meal and a fun time. During our conversation my roommate was talking about some guy she met and had been speaking with for a while. He was a player, a user, and a couple of other things she mentioned. 

Let me set the rest of the conversation up. My roommate and I have been living together for almost 4 years. She has seen every side of me there is, the good, the bad, and yes, the ugly. She knows me inside and out. When I said that I couldn’t believe that guy acted that way and said those things. She smiled and said something that still warms my heart. “He’s not like you”. That was the sweetest thing said to me in years.

Four words that have made my day for several days. I love my roommate and I treat her like I mean it. She is always a top priority to me. She knows it too. As I meet new women and date, she knows her importance in my life. We’re family, it’s as simple as that. We care about one another in a family type way. 

Several years ago I had a best friend. I was her roommate for about 6 months. We were close and at the time, she knew me better than anyone on the planet. One day she decided we were a couple. I was thrilled, I had been in love with her for years. It dawned on me one day that knowing all my faults, she still chose me. That was a good moment too.

All of us in the singles world are searching for something or someone. I tell men this all the time. Treat every woman you meet like she is your forever love. After a time you find your genuine care for others will just grow, Be kind, honest, and a gentleman to everyone. The rewards are many. Having peace will always follow and eventually you’ll find your person because of it. 

I’ve ended so many of my articles with two words, be kind. That almost sounds cliche. Maybe even cheesy. But if you lead every time with kindness your world view begins to change. You see the value of others, they become a priority as well. For me, I work from home. If anyone ever needs something that I can help with, I jump at the chance. 

I use me as an example because I’ve lived many of the things I write about. I can dig deeper than I can telling a story about someone I’ve only heard of. In 2009 I promised myself I would never judge another human being as long as I live. Sadly, I don’t always win that but I do win it most of the time. Mother Teresa once said, “you can’t love them if you judge them”. It’s my favorite quote and my biggest truth. 

Instead of seeing a situation, bad choices, or a different station from yours, see the person. Look deep. Stop looking at the clutter and see the heart. That’s where their value is. That’s who you will want to be kind to. Don’t allow yourself to play the dating game like so many do. You be you. The best you, you can be. That’s the kind you, the thoughtful you, and the gentle spirit that rests inside you.